Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Kurri in a Hurry

Man, it's tired in here today. This day would be a perfect one for a two-hour Costanza Under-the-Desk Nap.

While I'm still up, though, I'll share a few items with you fine members of the American public. My favorite story of the young day comes from Noonan's blog:

"London has been awarded the 2012 Olympic Games, edging NYC, Madrid, Moscow, and the favorite, Paris. You probably heard Jacques Chirac's quote about how Mad Cow Disease was Britain's sole contribution to European agriculture. What you may not have heard was that he also said:

'Only Finland has worse food in Europe.'

While everyone expects the French to rip the Brits, and vice versa, this insult of Finnish cooking may ultimately have cost France the Olympic Games. There are two Finnish members of the IOC, Peter Tallberg and Jari Kurri. If the vote was as close as expected, Jacques' big mouth may have had a large impact."

But because I get easily distracted, I didn't exactly focus on the fact that Paris, the city that had basically been annointed the Olympic host, lost the 2012 Games overnight it seems. Instead I chose to concentrate on the fact that former Gretzky-slut Jari Kurri may have been the deciding vote, the fate of the world resting in his now non-gloved hands. Craisins.

And as I wondered aloud (well, in print) over at Noonan's, "Did Kurri wear that weird-shaped JOFA helmet when making his deciding vote? I sure hope so." Now I'm just picturing Kurri sitting in an IOC meeting with that helmet on, and unfortunately for my co-workers, I'm laughing quite audibly.

Seriously, though, what kind of a world do we live in where Jari Freakin' Kurri makes key global decisions?! Ehh, don't mind me, I'm just bitter that the Rangers traded for him for no good reason so he could play 14 games for us and suck.

Slack Song of the Day: With the Big Summer Classic in full bloom out west, today we'll turn back the clock to the 12/29/04 String Cheese Incident show at the Theatre @ MSG.

I don't normally swoon over the Cheese, but this concert impressed the hell out of me, especially this song: Got What He Wanted. And for all the people who mistakenly believe they might not like this selection, give it a try -- there's a super-sweet Herbie Hancock-Chameleon jam in there that might interest you folks.

Slack Song of the Day Runner-Up: Since the U-Melt Rocks Off Concert Cruise sets sail tonight, it's only fair we play a little tune from the 4/2/05 show Hoobs, Jacob Eli and I saw at the Knitting Factory. So, because this band is very keys-driven, here's a cover of my favorite MMW song, Bubblehouse. You can probably here us clapping, there weren't many people in the room that night.

Slack Catharsis of the Day: I try not to speak about women on this here blog, because mostly they only cause trouble. But in a blast from the past, the father of a high school buddy of mine was reading this Hamptons-socialite magazine and found a current picture of the hottest girl I've ever been seen nekked (the one on the right). Of course, at the time she had been dating one of my best friends for four years and that almost ended our two-decade friendship, but we've since patched it up.

Despite the fact that she cheated on him a bunch before me, I still consider that Bahamanian Spring Break indiscretion the worst decision I've ever made in my life. I've made some bad ones, but that might have been the pinnacle of my bad judgment. I know I probably shouldn't have put this on the blog, because it makes me look like a shady d-bag and it drudges up old war stories, but it genuinely felt good to get that off my chest. I feel better now.

I should just delete those last two grafs. But I won't.


At 12:44 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

It is hardto cook in one of those helmets. They put your eyes in constant shadow, after all, so maybe Chirac had a point.

Isn't it a shame that John Olerud never discovered the JOFA helmet?

At 1:13 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I can't process Olerud in a JOFA. My brain just cannot do it.

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Oh, you posted those "graphs" to show you can successfully hit on sexy jewish women. Don't delude yourself. That's the greatest assault to our collective naivete since the producers of Who's the Boss tried to pawn off Danny Pintauro as "not gay".

Yes, I stole that from the Sports Guy. Did anyone read his article on the Yankees today? Misinformed and crappy. Nothing left to write about Bill?

Oh, and I got engaged so everything is about Don!

At 2:21 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

"Oh, and I got engaged so everything is about Don!"

As opposed to every other day? Jeez, your mastery of self-promotion is only surpassed by Trump and Jimmy Hart.

You out of order a little bit.

At 2:22 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

I'm not out of order. Give us a drink, give us all a drink.

oh admit it.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Congrats Don.

I advise against naming your firstborn "Jay." It could hurt him down the road.

At 3:11 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I admit nothing. I'm just an innocent storyteller: "The story teller makes no choice, soon you will not hear his voice. His job is to shed light, and not to master."

But thanks for calling me out, Jerkstore!

At 3:14 PM, Blogger jakezebra said...

Many of you may not know this, but ‘catharsis’ is derived of the greek word katharsis meaning counterfeit purgation of cumbersome emotional burden in an attempt to exhibit grade A piece of tit with which one is, or at one time was, having sexual relations.
Oh, by the way, you just got served.

At 4:08 PM, Anonymous Back Page Phil said...

at least you didn't almost lose a friend over the narsty girl on the left


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