Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Last Boy Scout/City Commish

I walked into my apartment at 6:35 last night, ripped off my sweat-drenched work clothes and turned on about 12 air conditioners and six fans. About 20 minutes later, still dripping, I got an intriguing text message from EB, from deep inside the Miami Herald office building. The note read: "Dude, a City Commissioner just walked into the Herald and killed himself."

That message intrigued me much more than the previous text message I received, Donnie's most recent communique: "Employee Pricing." For a week now Donnie's been a bit obsessed with and enraged by the current commercials from the Big Three automakers and their Crazy Eddie-insanity incentive plans.

Anyway, a former City Commissioner who was recently indicted on corruption charges walked into the Herald's lobby and shot himself in the head yesterday. There's been no word, though, on whether he ran into the endzone before muttering, "Ain't life a bitch" and pulling the trigger.

He did, however, wish his wife well: "'He said to tell DeFede to tell his wife he loves her,' the security guard, Feliz Nazco, told the Herald." There's also been no word on whether he Major Tom-med that declaration. Tell my wife I love her very much, she knooooows.

Sad story. I hate to be so jokey about such a craisins-like affair, but I generally have very little sympathy for suicide victims. Victims, if you can even use that word. Unless they're terminally ill or facing life in prison with no possibility for parole, I just can't see how anybody would take the easy way out and leave everyone behind bereaving. It's just a selfish way to go. And that's that.

To lighten the mood a little bit (like inviting Louie to Jesus' Last Supper), I like it when the Yank'ums play the Twins and the YES announcers refer to the Minnesota outfielders as "The Soul Patrol."

Apparently, former mullet Dan Gladden coined the nickname about five years ago when Matt Lawton, Torii Hunter and Jacque Jones roamed the Minnesota outfield, but after they traded Lawton the named died. But when the Twins traded for Shannon Stewart last year...Game On! The re-birth of the Soul Patrol.

It's just un-PC enough that it's awesome. The three have embraced the name, as they should, because it's funny. Like, the first team to have an all Hispanic outfield shoud call them the "Low Riders" or the "Hairnets." Or maybe the Yanks will trade for Ichiro, sandwich Bubba Crosby between him and Matsui and call their outfield "Gung Ho." The possibilities are endless. What other fun little names for existing outfields can we play with?

Slack Song of the Day: A decade ago I couldn't get enough of these guys. Just behind the Grateful Dead and the popular rock band Phish, I listened to God Street Wine more than any other band in the world. As Handstand the Elder and I discussed in between bands at the Jam on the River, we might be two of 100 people in the world to own all five CDs they released.

Freshman year in college we got to see them in the student union, and I videotaped the intimate show from about 10 feet away. Before they took the stage, I met two of the band members, who took my camera from me and shot themselves and me sitting outside on the lawn. I always thought that was one of the cooler musical experiences. This band I reeeally liked playing with my dinghy. Great stuff.

So here's a great version of Nightengale from Garton's Saloon in Vail from October 29, 1994. And here's Wendy from the same show. It's a damn shame they're no more.

I wish they had a live version of Into the Sea somewhere in the Archive, but alas, I guess I'll just listen to it on my iPod on the way home (like I did coming to work this morning).


At 12:20 PM, Blogger ethan said...

gotta love dan gladden. i think he weighs like 300+ now (he should go on celebrity fit club!). him and keny hrbek both.

that commish suicide is something you'd see on faces of death part 34, now banned in 68 countries!

and how bout that yanks bullpen - crazy like eddie but not nearly as much fun. in that lineup you just CANNOT let jacque jones (protected by boone) or shannon stewart (protected by punto and lew ford last nite) beat you.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

People forget that Gladden pretty much won the 91 WS for the the 10th, he led off with a double -- but it was really a single and a hustle double. He was then sacrificed to third by Chucky Knobs and Gene Larkin eventually drove him in after some IBBs. Without his hustle to second, who knows how the inning would have gone...Dan Gladden, WS hero.

I agree about the Yanks bullpen...and those two runs on the Jacque Jones homer came up so huge when we made the run in the 8th. Man, Bernabe was so close on that long foul. Game of inches.

At 1:14 PM, Blogger ethan said...

yeah i just about threw my beer across the room on bernie's contact.

i love gene larkin - like ron darling and doug glanville, an ivy league baseball player.

At 1:22 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Sheff, big bomb. 3-0 Yanks.


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