Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Mid-Morning News and Notes

I just lost a whole Morning Post. I'm devastated. Not really. At least it was my own fault and not Blogger's, otherwise someone over at Google would have had to pay the Fiddler. But since I'm strapped for time now, we'll have to do this in digest form:

1. It's great to wake up and see the Yank'ums at the top of the (Danny) heap in the AL East. It looked pretty grim there when this team was 11-19, but Big Stein & Co. didn't panic and made the right moves to get this team headed back in the right direction.

The infusion of Cano and Wang and the exclusion of Officer Womack, not to mention a re-Juicified Giambi, were apparently the answers to life's little problems. Incidentally, praise be to Joe Torre (and, of course, Allah) for finally realizing that Womack eats more shit than the winner of this year's Turd-Ingesting Competition at the 76th Annual Fecalphiliac Convention. I took third in the 74th annual.

It also never hurts that Sheff, A-Rod and Matsui are three of the hottest hitters in the league right now. And it helps that they're sandwiched by Jeter and Cano on one side and Giambi and Posada on the other. So you just have to be ecstatic as a Yankee fan...after the piss poor beisbol these guys turned in throughout the first half, with Jaret Wright and Carl Pavano turning out to be ineffective lemons, we climbed on top by the end of July. Admirable.

2. UPDATE: It's not noon today (which just passed) as originally thought, but we will have a new nominee for the Supreme Court at 9 pm tonight.

Speculation is centering around Judge Edith Clement of the U.S. Court of Appeals in New Orleans, according to the Washington Post. Other than this article, I know nothing about her. But I'm sure she's a raging bitch that kills cats and hates retards. Stay tuned...

3. Northwestern University is at it again. We're supposed to be wicked smaht, but we're all idiots. Whether it's allowing white supremacist Matthew Hale to run wild on campus, getting busted in a massive point-shaving scandal, killing our starting safety in summer practice or many other ridiculous transgressions, NU is certainly earning its reputation as a group of buffoons. Now it's the flip-flop scandal:

"After Northwestern University's national championship women's lacrosse team visited the White House, a group photo showed several players wearing flip-flop sandals along with their dresses and skirts."

To read what this is all abooot, click here (as Chiptole Bob points out, check out the guns on the chick all the way to the left in this picture). And also here. Go U, NU.

4. Get ready for another sex tape...that's right, everybody's favorite d-bag Colin Farrell "is suing a woman for allegedly trying to distribute and profit from a sex tape he says the two recorded with the agreement they would never make it public." [Story]

This one may not be as sought after as Paris Hilton's or Bobby Abreu's fiance's tapes, but since I missed the whole "Eve has a sex tape" fiasco, I figured I'd point this one out to y'all as a public service. Enough gossip. We now return you to your regularly scheduled procrastination.

5. Finally, here's a funny quote from Sen. John McCain that doesn't involve the word gook: "In Washington, I work with boobs every day."

Slack Song of the Day: Even though I've only seen 'em once (and missed 'em once, down in Langerado), I'm a big fan of the Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra. Much like A1 Bold steak sauce, this band's sound hits me here, and it hits me right here.

So this morning's tune is called Government Magic, from the 8/1/03 show at the Starr Hill Music Hall in Charlottesville, Va. If you like it and want to listen to some more, feel free to click right here and stream the rest of the show.


At 11:00 AM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

Better Judith Clement than Roberto Clemente. Because he's a baseball player, not a judge. And dead.

At 11:01 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Can we start calling Giambi "Lattimer" yet?

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Seat at the table, baby. Seat at the table.

Kenny, agreed. Also, he's Hispanic, and I hate that whole race. Oh wait, aren't you....

At 11:25 AM, Blogger MDS said...

I don't think we can call Giambi Lattimer until he head-butts a car window and makes it shatter. Starting defense!

At 2:00 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

What I want to know is:

Where do those girls get off wearing tits to the White House?

Where did they think they were? Annie Sez?

At 2:07 PM, Blogger jp said...

I think that the press should apologize to Giambi, but not really make it clear what they're apologizing for.

Congrats on first place. Take a picture...it won't last long. :)

At 7:54 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

Your right Ace, hispanics suck. And yes, the answer to your question is that I am in fact self loathing.


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