Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Sesquicentennial: That's the Hundred-and-fifty

Blaine, Missouri celebrated it's 150th anniversary with a massive parade down Main Street, a pie-eating contest, snipers on the roof and a Broadway-style musical relaying the historic account of the town's inception called Red, White and Blaine.

Roxboro, North Carolina, by contrast, "belatedly celebrated" its 150th anniversary "at a council meeting last week with a modest sheet cake." Why? Because nobody remembered the occasion. I guess that's what you get for having only a volunteer historian.

Surprisingly, the human interest piece itself isn't what I find most comical about the situation. Check out this reporter's writing:
There's no 'Sorry I missed your birthday' card big enough to make up for this one.

Just about nobody remembered that the town of Roxboro reached an important milestone this year its 150th anniversary of incorporation.

The best lede this apparently anonymous author could come up with was the birthday card opening? Oy vey. I'm really trying to think of a worse way to begin this article, and I can't come up with much. Maybe something like, "The official flower of Roxboro, North Carolina isn't the forget-me-not...but maybe it should be." And I'd still take my awful attempt over that hackneyed crap.

And starting the second sentence of an article with the words "Just about nobody" is simply atrocious. That's just piss poor writing, dreadful journalism. There's no excuse for that. Also, isn't it "nobody"? If it were "just about nobody" then someone would have remembered to celebrate the sesquicentennial, no? Just sayin'.

On second thought, there's no way in the world that second grouping of words starting with "Just about nobody" can even be considered a sentence, even in our horribly educated society. Read that thing again. Hopefully that bunch of words masquerading as a sentence is just missing a punctuation mark after the word "year," or else it's a worse attempt at English than I originally thought.

Then again, maybe this is my fault, maybe I'm setting the bar a bit too high for a reporter assigned to write a story about a small North Carolina town forgetting its own birthday.

Then again, why is this even news? And why am I writing about it? All good questions, no good answers.

Slack Song of the Day: I've got a real hankering for some Grateful D. this morning, specifically some Tennessee Jed. So here's a little blackened eye and kicked dog from March 25, 1983 at Tempe's Compton Terrace Amphitheatre.

And just for the hell of it, here's a nice Harry Hood encore from 10/29/94 in Spartanburg, South Carolina (courtesy of nugs.net).

**Slack Pop Ditty of the Day**: In my review of Trey's new band and his newly written tunes, I wasn't exactly very friendly towards the venture. But there is one new song that's poppy as hell, but it's also super-catchy and really well done. I'm a big fan, and I can't get it out of my head. It's called Shine, and you can find it here. Lemme know what you think, sportsfans.


At 10:46 AM, Blogger ethan said...

i bet that writer owns a reamins of the day lunch box.

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Oh you. You know you could always get a reservation anywhere.

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Sounds good, dipshit!

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