Monday, September 26, 2005

Myocardial Infarction Weekend

It started off so well. Famous Mulgrew and his buddy Dave treated me to a glorious night at Yankee Stadium on Friday, where we kicked back and watched Shawn Chacon three-hit the Blue Jays through eight shutout innings. The three of us also non-sexually ingested plenty of meat and nuts.

But then, like my travails two weeks ago Sunday, it all went to shit. The Yanks lost a big game Saturday, almost at the exact same time Penn State threw a fourth-quarter touchdown late in the game to cap a comeback off the NU Wildcats -- not so awesomely, Posada grounded into a game-killing double play just seconds after the Cats let up a 4th and 15 that would have ended the game.

Then, as if I needed more sports heartbreak, the Jets decided to play like the polar opposite of a champion yesterday, getting outcoached and outplayed at every level, finally succumbing to a defeat they sorely deserved. I've seen worse -- we're only a game out of first place after all -- but this team that I thought would be 11-5 looks to be more of a 5-11 team, and those five wins will only be a direct result of their defense. I never thought I'd be sad to see Jay Fiedler get hurt.

I guess it wasn't all fantasy team is about to become 3-0 (unless somehow Broncos' WR Ashley Lelie puts up 49 points on me) and the Yankums pulled out a yuge win yesterday. Still, the Jets' performance was lackluster and inexcusable, and the coaches and players should be working their asses off to fix what's wrong. I refuse to write their obituary yet -- remember, the 2002 Jets started 1-4 and then 2-5 -- but I can't say I'm very pleased with the effort so far this season. Herm looks like a fonzanoon and new offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger ain't Heiming or Dinging. Let's go, fellas.

I can't write much more in-depth on this weekend's sports, for fear it'll push my heart over the edge. So here's a funny e-mail I got from Miami's EB about Bill Cosby and his contract riders:

"From the If I Had a Blog Dept.:

This latest concert rider on The Smoking Gun -- Bill Cosby's -- is pretty funny, even to someone who long ago grew tired of most Smoking Gun contract finds.

Besides demanding that no one advertise his shows in the Philly Inquirer or Daily News (his hometown papers), Cosby requests high-quality toilet paper and college-logo sweatshirts from all venues. And those are among, like, eight things he asks for. It's not much. So basically he's saying good toilet paper and college sweatshirts are on a short list of the most important things in his life. How much more a parody of himself can he be?"

Good stuff, EB. Here's some more good stuff -- the U.S. crime rate for 2004 remained at a 30-year-low, especially violent crime: "Since 1993, violent crime as measured by victim surveys has fallen by 57 percent and property crime by 50 percent. That has included a 9 percent drop in violent crime from 2001-2002 to 2003-2004."

It ain't a perfect world, but I like hearing we're inching closer (even though we're really not).

Slack Musical Links of the Day: The Band Boxset...oh yes. Trey hits the road for another tour...oh no?

Slack Song of the Day: As seen on the Live Music Blog, Part IV of the Big Cypress Jamcast Project is out. Grab it, download it, complete the set. Only 11 more parts to go.


At 10:08 AM, Blogger MDS said...

I fail to see why people criticize Cosby for his contract demands. Let's think about this logically for a minute. There are x number of dates a year that Cosby can perform, and y number of venues asking him to perform. Since y is greater than x, Cosby somehow needs to narrow down the number of requests. Most celebrities narrow down the number of requests by demanding large sums of money. Cosby chooses to narrow down the requests by demanding that he'll be pampered. What's wrong with that?

(Incidentally, keep in mind that this is a contract with for-profit concert halls. I'll bet anything he does charity functions for which he doesn't make such demands.)

At 10:43 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

this just in, today is Jack LaLanes birthday, he is 306, unreal

At 10:43 AM, Blogger ethan said...

i'm with you mds. go cosby. plus we won that fat albert law suit recently.

ace, as to the violent crime reduction - have you read freakonomics yet?

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Wait, who's making fun of Cosby here? The Smoking Gun? I hope you're not implying we were, cuz we ain't. We just love those demands. Quality TP and college hoodies as two of your few demands? That's newsworthy.

Nah, haven't gotten to it yet, Ethan. I just finished Chabon's first (Mysteries of Pitt), Never Let Me Go (by the guy who inspired the Remains of the Day lunchbox), now I'm reading Phil Lesh's auto and then I've got Bret Easton Ellis' new one on deck. Lotta shiite to read.

Happy birthday, Jack. Poophop, you're still alive?

At 11:27 AM, Blogger ethan said...

well i won't spoil it for you, but it gives a reason for the drop in crime rate - and it ain't because the cops are getting better at their jobs or that more money is being poured into PD's nationwide like politicians would have you think.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

My condolences on the beginning of the Brooks Bollinger Era. I know how this one ends, and like Ethan, I won't spoil it for you.

At 11:38 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I read that chapter -- the Roe v Wade debate? That was well-reasoned and backed up well with stats, but there's no way you can prove that conceretly. It's still circumstantial to me.

At 11:40 AM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

still alive ace, busier at work then peter gammons at a portland seadogs doubleheader

At 11:47 AM, Blogger ethan said...

"That was well-reasoned and backed up well with stats"

what better support of an argument can there be?

At 11:49 AM, Blogger MDS said...

"How much more a parody of himself can he be?"

That sounded to me like you were criticizing Cosby. And I've heard others say he comes across like a jerk if you read the contract. I don't think so.

So what did you think of Never Let Me Go? Without giving major plot points away to people who haven't read it, I thought it was fascinating how accepting of their roles the characters were. And you know what? I think that's realistic. People generally accept their lots in life no matter how unfair it might look to those of us on the outside. Glad to see you're a Chabon fan. I am, too.

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Brooks Bollinger....kid better eat his Wheaties next Sunday. Motherbitch, Fiedler woulda actually been okay on this team, methinks.

Ethan, I'm not saying I disagree with it -- I was complimenting him there for a job well done. I mean, that's a tough point to prove, and he made me think. But there's just no way you can prove that point of cause and effect, it's all circumstantial. He comes close, and for that, good for him, kudos bar. But he didn't get me to say "He's 100% right." That's all.

MDS, I didn't like NLMG until the end...I liked it because the characters are portrayed well, you get good portraits of their personalities, which I enjoyed. But I didn't like his technique of not describing what the three main characters looked like -- it was tough for me to grasp any sort of mental picture. For other people that may have worked, I didn't love it.

But I thought the last 30 pages really made you think, and it made a statement that I didn't think was coming (even though you know what was gonna happen, really). You know what? I can't have this conversation online without getting into a real discussion of the book and without giving stuff let me just say, I didn't love it, but I really think it ended well and raised some interesting questions for the book club to discuss.

And I like Cosby. That was just a joking paragraph, leave it alone.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

the jets need to trade for billy volek...will pennington ever be ok? who knows. but i'll tell you this much, volek knows heimerdinger's offense and has run it very well. why not go and take a shot? forget about the fact that we owe chad millions, take a chance. we declared ourselves super bowl contenders this year, who knows what will happen next year? this might be our last year with johnny abes (hopefully not) but go out and make something happen!

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I hear ya, Elliot...has there ever been a mid-season trade that has worked out, though? Football's a weird sport for trades.

Brooks Bollinger for Heisman.

At 5:58 PM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

well the reason for lack of trades in midseason football is the fact that players have to learn the system first. volek would come in having learned nfl football via heimerdinger's system. if there ever were a situation where a trade could work, i would think this is one of them.


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