Wednesday, September 14, 2005

There's Leadership...and There's Not

I can't believe this wasn't "Breaking News" on CNN or FOX: Our fearless always-rubber-never-glue faux-cowboy faux-leader actually stopped the buck at his desk yesterday.

President Bush responded to the rising questions about the government's ability to respond to natural disasters and terror attacks with a surprising and likely short-lived moment of culpability.

"To the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility," Bush said.

Well, I'llllll beeee. Lookie here, folks, the president has finally stepped up to the mike and raised his hand high. I'm truly speechless. I am without speech. I can't believe he finally cracked. This is like torturing the shit out of someone for five years -- Chinese water torture, nipple clamps, car battery hooked to the testes -- and after holding out for so long, they finally and inexplicably change course and give in, revealing the coveted information. Apparently everybody really does have a breaking point.

He made it five years fucking everything up in sight and not issuing a single apology or taking responsibility for anything. He turned the world against us, squandering all the 9/11-related good will. He moved the terrorist training grounds and theocratically indoctrinated religious police from Afghanistan to Iraq. He took the largest surplus ever and created the largest deficit in history. The trade deficit is on pace to hit an unprecedented $693 billion this year, nearly double the level at which he took office.

The rich are richer (which is good), but the poor are much poorer (not so good). Less people have health insurance, more people are in poverty. Corporations are paying the lowest tax rates ever, while the president helped take away the bankrutpcy safety net for most Americans. Oil and gas prices have surged through record levels, leading to insane profits for his energy company cronies and ridiculous outlays for average Americans. About the only thing this guy hasn't done is killed puppies or banged horses. I think.

And yet, after doing all that, and much more, the president has yet to take blame or apologize for anything. Until now. After a natural disaster. I can't believe he finally caved! I bet he marched up to Karl Rove and said, "We really effed up, Rovey. Shud I 'pologize?" And the Puppetmaster let him have this one. Just this one.

Then there's one blogger's probably accurate theory, that Bush is a "really fucked-up fourteen year-old in the White House" as a result of untreated alcoholism.

The president should take some advice from and model himself after a real leader, a man who knows what its like to take the reins and run the show. That's right, the retiring Mark Messier. I wanted to write a little post on my love for Ol' Number 11 when he announced this on Monday, but I remembered most people couldn't give a rat's ass about hockey. (Why would someone give someone else a rat's ass? To whom would they even give a rat's ass? That expression makes no sense.)

Mess was my first real sports idol. He came to New York after winning five Stanley Cups in Edmonton, and he promised us a championship. He looked right into the camera and he said he was bringing one home to the Garden, after more than half a decade. And a few seasons later, the Messiah did just that. He turned Gravey into a 50-goal scorer, he made Kovalev a threat -- he had that knack of making everyone around him infinitely better.

When the chips were down, he didn't sit on the bench with no expression waiting for his subordinate linemates to help. He didn't wait days to help out the struggling team, he acted and put everyone on his back. This was The Man who proclaimed "I guarantee we'll win tonight" trailing 3-2 before Game 6 in New Jersey and walked away with three goals, an assist and a lifelong fanbase that would go down on him like a circus seal.

Mess wasn't quite the player he used to be in his later years, Jerry Rice-ing it up in New York for the last few seasons. But we will never forget what he did for the team and the city in 1994. Never. That's how you lead a group of men. That's how you debate. Chuck B and I made it to the game when the Rangers retired Richter's jersey to the rafters -- I'll do anything to be there on January 12th when #11 rises to the ceiling.

O Captain, My Captain, our awesome trip is done.

Slack Link of the Day: Let's check in with our favorite SI.com writer-slash-producer-slash-editor, who has written a great piece about one of the nation's top basketball recruits, Sherron Collins. It's a juicy exclusive, and once again we applaud this man's tireless efforts. Great ending, too.

Slack Songs of the Day: You know me, once I smell something good, I can't smell anything else for weeks. Some call it a one-track mind, some call it OCD. I call it awesomeness. (Ir)Regardless, the unbelievable Tea Leaf Green show Hoobs and I caught at the Knitting Factory on Saturday night is up on archive.org and bt.etree.org. I'm not entirely sure it's going to hold up on disc the way it sounded in the room, but I can't wait to dig in for some aural pleasure.

You can stream the show here, or you can click on the archive link above for some individual tunes (some of you might just want to listen to the Snoop Dogg cover in the encore). And since I haven't posted it on Slack yet, here's my review of the show from the LMB.

4 Comments:

At 10:22 AM, Anonymous SpanishMiguel said...

Ace,

while its unprecedented among all George W. Bush´s to admit culpability for fucking shit up, that´s still a far cry from taking responsibility for shit-fucking the shit up in the fuckin´ first place.

Firing people who are bad, calling a david spade a david spade, coming up with alternate plans for the future - those would all be slightly more comforting.

Regardless, can you really complain about the bumper-to-bumper shitstorm of traffic on this GWB? God put this guy in the white house. God won. And the terrorists won, too. The fucking Jets lost, though. Damn.

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yeah, Miggy, I hear ya. I wasn't saying that since he took responsiblity this one time that the grey skies are gonna clear up and shit's gonna be goooood.

I was merely pointing out that this might be the first time I've heard anything like that sentence come out of his mouth. Ever. It's just amazing to me that he decided to do it now, after five years of fucking shit up.

I heard he assaulted Larry Johnson's girlfriend, too.

 
At 10:44 AM, Blogger MDS said...

Great link of the day. He'd better pick the Illini.

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger Sox1918 said...

Jan 12th. I'm there Ace.

Schilling's a fag. And he's fat.

 

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