Thursday, September 22, 2005

Too Many Blimps (Setec Astronomy)

If you're on the west siiiide of New York City right now, look out your window: There are not one but two Goodyear blimps traversing the clear blue skies of Manhattan right now.

I hate to dig up old jokes and replay them, but really I don't at all. This is from my 2004 MLB All-Star Game post on July 14, 2004 (also contained within, Tim McCarver jokes):

"...But my real beef with the game this year was last night's aerial coverage, provided by the Ameriquest blimp. I mean, are they just fuckin' giving these things away? How many blimps are there these days? I feel like it was just five years ago when spotting a blimp over a sporting event meant seeing "Goodyear" plastered along its sides. Didn't everyone tease the fat girl in elementary school by calling her the Goodyear blimp? Do kids these days mix it up and say, "Don't pick her for kickball, that chick is fatter than the Saturn Lightship"?

I remember when MetLife broke into the market and that was acceptable to me. The Snoopy I and Snoopy II blimps were fine for a little competition. Hey, I'm no Communist, I'll welcome a challenge to the Goodyear monopoly. But when the fuck did Outback decide it was a good idea to send the Bloomin' Onion I up to the skies?

At this point, I'm flat out praying for a major blimp catastrophe, something along the lines of an 'Oh, the Humanity' Hindenburg-esque disaster. I'll even take something resembling a horrifying mid-air collision between two of these oversized douchebags. And if Tim McCarver should be the captain of such a vehicle at the time, well, that'll just be gravy."

I love McCarver jokes.

5 Comments:

At 12:08 PM, Blogger ethan said...

did you see that saturday mlb game on fox a couple of weeks where steve lyons announced the first inning from the blimp?

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger jakezebra said...

Janek's little black box?

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger MDS said...

I've ridden in a blimp. Interesting experience. The compartment with passengers is really tiny. Before we boarded they asked all the passengers to help hold the blimp down with these enormous ropes, but one thing they stressed was that if the blimp started to take off, we should all let go. It's funny to imagine some guy who refuses to let go because he's just sure he can bring it down all by himself.

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Zeebs, you my man. Anyone who catches the Setec Astronomy joke always gets the gold star.

I missed that, Ethan. As you can tell, I'm pissed at blimps, they've flooded the market like Katrina in New Orleans.

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Bad, bad, Reroy Brown, Baddest man in the whoe dowtow.

Now there's an underrated film, if ever there was one.

For inflatable flying disasters, you really can't beat the Macy's Thanksgiving parade balloons, which also carry the "let go if you start to fly" warning. One year the Cat in the Hat ran amok:

http://www.cnn.com/US/9811/26/macys.parade.01/

Maybe we can get McCarver to call the Parade next year. I think the Cat could finish him off. Plus he'd say shit like:

"And here comes Sancho Clause on his sleigh."

 

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