Monday, October 17, 2005

Camel Toads & More

I just exited a work-related meeting, and I'm not entirely sure what really happened. We talked about the Japanese and Chinese markets and governments as they relate to U.S. manufacturing and corporate America, but nothing really came of this meeting.

We left it at an awkward handshake, and I'm not even sure the handshake went all that well. Basically, I'm pretty sure I just wasted an hour saying things like "Sure" and "Okay" and "Damn gooks."

So in the absence of any real substance today, here are some afternoon links to get you through the lunch hour:

--Is your godson scouting for "Camel Toads" at the local pool? Check out this "Ask Leslie" column from the Hays Daily News in Northwest Kansas -- and before you ask if this is real or not, it very much is.

--Make sure you check out Ethan's post-season baseball analysis (he's an analrapist) over at Strong as a Can. He's the e.e. cummings of beisbol, there are no capital letters in sight...but he throws up great stats like this one:

"it's an obvious statement to say that since each team has one dominating hitter (konerko vs. vlad), whoever's slugger produced would win the series. and while that was the case, don't underestimate the value of podsednik vs. figgins. in the alcs, figgins' bb:ab ratio was 1:17 while in the regular season it was ~1:10. podsednik, on the other hand, was 1:11 during the regular season but an astounding ~1:3 in the alcs. his 5th inning walk last night was a phenomenal at bat."

--They give you cash, which is just as good as money. They pass around pictures of your husband banging your co-worker, too. And if you get hurt and miss work, your husband can still nail that co-worker chick in the coatroom closet. What insurance is that, Yogi? AFLAC!

This story is especially funny for this part: "AFLAC regularly posts its job openings on Christian Web sites, allows prayer groups at corporate meetings and emphasizes the Christian principles of its founders in its philosophies." Not very Christian-like, my brothers and sisters. Nor is fucking little kids, but who am I to judge?

--Did you know there's a continuous, coast-to-coast hiking and biking trail that runs straight through from Delaware to California? Sounds like something people other than me would really enjoy. Well, Ken and Marcia Powers agree, and the couple "became the first hikers to complete a continuous backpack of the country’s first Atlantic-to-Pacific trail." Kudos bar to the Powers.

--Charles Rocket committed suicide. Weird.

--And check this one out: "Ohio Police Arrest Woman For $1 In Unpaid Taxes" -- I mean, really? For serious? C'mon, you're better than that.

Slack Song of the Day: Lukas and I danced on over to the new Nokia Theatre in Times Square on Friday for an evening with the One Man Gang, Keller Williams. I’ll have a full review some time either later this afternoon or tomorrow over on the Live Music Blog (hey, it takes me a little while to get my shiite together and process what my rods and cones and cochlea just experienced).

I will say, though, K-Dub puts on a helluva show…he’s a talented, consummate professional, he churns out amazing music and he does it all with a wide smile and an intense stare. Prices for his tickets may be going up, but I don’t know how you can miss his show when he comes to town. In honor of this weekend’s festivities, here are three of my favorite Keller tunes (they may be generic, but that’s the way I like ‘em):

Freaker By the Speaker (9/2/05, moe.down)
Gate Crashers Suck (8/13/05, Gathering of the Vibes)
Best Feeling (8/27/05, F.U.N.K. Festival)


At 1:44 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

For the AFLAC thing, can we call Mr. Johnson's tryst the "Tinley Park Jam", a la the 8/14/93 show?

(holy shit, my first Phish reference on this site)

At 1:51 PM, Blogger ethan said...

thanks for the reference, ace. hopefully my reader count will top 4 now.

gate crashers suck - great tune.

also, here's to hoping the powers have a grandson named screech.

At 2:27 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Matty Mac, aka Henry Hill -- "You popped your cherry!"

Screech Powers...can't believe I missed that joke. Blaast.

At 4:36 PM, Blogger MDS said...

His movie credits included "Earth Girls are Easy," "Dumb and Dumber" and "Dances With Wolves," according to the Internet Movie Database.

Which of these three doesn't belong? I must say, though, that Jim Carrey seems like kind of a stand-up guy. (That is, if my assumption is correct that Carrey remembered Rocket from his "Earth Girls are Easy" days and decided to throw him a "Dumb and Dumber" bone when he hit it big.)

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Any truth to the rumor that, during her trek, Mrs. Powers also re-wrote the school song?

I'll ask Miss Levias.

At 4:48 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

SOME. Times in our lives. WE all have PAIN. We all have SOR-row.

--Mrs. Deep-Voice Powers

At 5:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Intonation, phonation, accuracy and pitch

At 5:19 PM, Anonymous the elder handstand said...

Dynamite drop-in Don. Bravo.

At 5:28 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

I love the new name, Handstand the Elder. Handstand the Younger (a.k.a. the Round Mound of Rebate) has much to learn from you.


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