Thursday, October 20, 2005

I'm Camby, Dammit. Not Cam.

I used to really like Marcus Camby. He used to be my playground.

First, I love the name Marcus, always. It reminds me of Eartha Kitt in Boomerang -- "Maaaarcus, I'm not wearing any panties." Then came the 1999 Knicks' playoff run, when Camby played like a bat out of Hades. A painfully thin and lanky bat, but a bat nonetheless.

I then met him up at camp when he dropped by for a little clinic-slash-appearance, and I took a nice little photo with the man (and in it I'm wearing a Brian Pillman T-shirt). When the Knicks traded him for Antonio McBench, I was pissed.

This morning I'm laughing my ass off and pointing at Camby. Pointing right at him, laughing in his general direction. What a seriously misguided statement this guy made recently. As you may or may not know, NBA Commissioner David Stern instituted an off-the-court dress code for injured players on the benches and attendants of league-sanctioned events. It's not necessarily a bad idea or a good idea, but that's a debate for another time.

How did Camby respond to the new rules? "I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes," the Nuggets center told the Rocky Mountain News. "Guys who haven't been wearing suits and don't own suits, it will be really hard to get them in time for the season..."

Wait, let me repeat that: Camby wants a special clothing stipend with which he can buy new threads. Yes, that's right, this guy's made nearly $50 million so far in his career, he's entering his second year of a new $45-million-dollar contract and he wants a fucking allowance to buy some new suits. Holy jeeez.

The league's average salary is $3.7 million and the NBA's new minimum is $399,000 for first-year players (more for veterans). These fuckers need more money to buy $1,000 suits? Here's a tip if you're short on cash, Maaarcus: hit the outlets, or go shop at Sym's or Men's Wearhouse (you're gonna like the way you look) like the rest of the country. What a d-bag.

"Oh, yeah, yeah. The guy in the...the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn’t make that in three months. Come on!" - G.O.B. Bluth

Slack Congrats of the Day: To the Houston Astros, kudos bar on your first World Series. For players like Biggio and Bagwell, it's good to see the Nice Guys win every once in a while (though it's sad Bags doesn't get to play a bigger part). This also sets up a potentially amazing pitchers' duel of a Series, which is fantastic. My prediction? Everyone gets shelled and the final score of each game has 10 runs on the board.

And as Dorsey Levin and I discussed last night (we walked in from a birthday thing shortly after the third out in the ninth), it didn't really sink in that Pettitte and Clemens were on the Astros until they started spraying champagne on each other wearing weird-looking jerseys. If you're counting at home, that's Pettitte, Clemens, El Duque and Contreres pitching in this Series. Hey, that kinda looks like a Yankees rotation, doesn't it? Good thing we got rid of all of them...

Slack Plug of the Day: Anyone need two tickets to see Cream? Section 320, Row A. Click that link.

Slack Song of the Day: If I had my druthers, I'd probably put up a Phish song every morning, but I can feel the eye-rolls from the Slack Community. So I hold back. Not today.

Here are some Pheesh covers for ya, and you're gonna enjoy them: Stevie's Boogie on Reggae Woman and Jimi's Bold As Love. And some originals off of Lawn Boy: Reba, Bathtub Gin and My Sweet One.

4 Comments:

At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Rashid Muhammad said...

Wow! "Flyin" Brian Pillman. I had no idea that he was dead, or that he had become some kind of grunge puppet. What a blast from the past.

I'm looking forward to the 'Stros and Sox with my heart being with the Sox. I have a good friend in Chicago who has suffered long enough. Win it for Loren boys.

Should be a good series.

No words for Camby. He was the truth with UMass (?) though.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger jp said...

After meeting Biggio and Bagwell, I can honestly say that I couldn't be happier for any two people to make it to the World Series. They are true examples of what is right with sports. I wish them the best.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I like the Sox in Six. But I'd love to see Biggio and Bags get the gold. And I'd definitely enjoy seeing Bagwell playing as the DH in the AL games...

Camby was SICK at UMass -- but hey, those days are like a decade ago. Now he's just a whiner.

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

Camby should be allowed to wear his ESPN the Magazine windbreaker in lieu of a sportcoat.

 

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