Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The New & Improved Shocker

Hate condoms? You're not alone. But how much must you dislike their de-sensitizing effect that you'd be more willing to strap electrodes to your sack for a little shock therapy? That takes serious balls.

The best part of this article comes at the end: "[Dr. Bojovic] added: 'We are hoping to have a small battery powered version on sale in the shops in time for Xmas.'"

Allright, talk about your all-time greatest stocking stuffers for the holidays. Thanks, honey, now grab the red wire and jam it into my left nut, I'll take care of the green wire...


At 3:49 PM, Blogger DennyAlias said...

Finally. I was getting sick of having to go all the way out to the garage to get the car battery. Plus, the jumper cables are chafing.

At 3:55 PM, Blogger ethan said...

this makes the pull and pray method look genius.

At 4:09 PM, Anonymous brucey mcbruce said...

Hey don't knock it till you try it. The gentle vibrating sensation just might feel nice. But then again, I don't have balls, so I guess I have no say in the matter.

At 6:41 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

I just hook straight into the wall socket. Cause I'm keepin it real.

At 7:22 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Wow. I just won $600.

I had $20 on the "Alias Brothers will comment on the same post" odds in Vegas at 30-1.

Drinks are on me, fellas.

At 12:39 AM, Blogger The Bourbon Samurai said...

I feel like that is the kind of product that has equal potential to A: Kill You, and B: give you super powers.

At 1:07 AM, Blogger Rip Avery said...

Given the choice of death or super powers, I'd prefer to receive the super powers; however, I'm concerned as to what they would be.

At 1:23 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Death or super powers? Hmmm, lemme get back to you on that.

That's a lot like the "Cake or Death" bit Eddie Izzard does in Dress To Kill, which is the impetus for the post above.

Cake or Death? That’s a pretty easy question. Everybody – anyone could answer that.

Cake or death?
Uhh, cake please.
Very well! Give him cake!
Oh, thanks very much. It’s very nice.
You! Cake or death?
Uh, cake for me, too, please.
Very well! Give him cake, too! We’re gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?
Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry…
You said death first, ah ha, ah ha, death first!
Well, I meant cake!
Oh, all right. You’re lucky I’m Church of England! Cake or death?
Uh, cake please.
Well, we’re out of cake! Well, we only had three bits and we didn’t expect such a rush. So what do you want?
Well, so my choice is ‘or death?
Well, have the chicken then, please.
Taste of humans, sir. Would you like a white wine? There you go, thank you very much. Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
Uhh, I asked for the vegetarian.
Ah, yes, the vegetarian, yes, there we go, Mr. Hitler, there we go. Would you like a little wine, there we Nazi shit-head.


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