Tuesday, November 29, 2005

No Confidence, Eh?

I'm a not-so-secret Canadaphile. I love it up there, and I love the people. I've really only been to several Eastern cities several times each, ignoring many of the more unnecessary provinces, but I'm a big fan of the 51st state.

So it comes as a huge surprise to me that the opposition party managed to bring down the Canadian government yesterday. Unemployment's at a 30-year-low, the country runs both budget and trade surpluses, there's health care and education for all and relatively low crime rates. Yet the opposition bloc used a little misappropriation of funds charge to oust Prime Minister Paul Martin's Liberal Party, accusing them of losing its moral authority.

If there's ever been a real difference between our two countries, this may be it. We actually re-elected a government that started an unwinnable war without foresight on faulty intelligence, lost all our global goodwill after the worst terror attack in world history and created the highest budget and trade deficits ever recorded. Our nation's test scores are down big, the number of people covered by health insurance is down as well, but hey, poverty's up!

This administration allowed multi-national companies to come in and write corporate-friendly legislation like the bankruptcy bill, they paid journalists to promote failed policies, they allowed the religious right to cozy up to the bar at the Grand Ol' party, they hired a gay prostitute to sit on Scott McClellan's face and in the White House press room to lob softballs, and they accused Democrats of having no values, yet every top Republican is currently under investigation or indictment (Rove, Frist, DeLay, Libby, and now Cunningham).

We actually re-elected these fuckers. Canada ousted their government because they lost confidence and faith. We bought low, averaged down and are stuck riding out a loser...they're apparently selling high. We really suck. Will someone just give the president a sloppy hummer so we can impeach him already?

Other Morning Stuff
I saw this sign over at Shakespeare's Sister and thought it was a pretty funny billboard considering the source. I always marvel at how the word "bling" has become so mainstream, and I almost wrote a post about it last week after I heard a mid-40s Jewish woman say it in my elevator: "I says to her, 'Dahling,' I says, 'Wait for the bling'."

Slack Video of the Day: Not 100% work-safe, but only because you see someone's ass. If you're cool with the human ass, check out this video of a patron at the MGM Grand in Vegas.

Slack Goals of the Day: Yesterday we featured some scattered NHL goals in the aftermath of the Rangers' thriller on Saturday. Then in the comments I posted the Mike Legg goal and Offpeak posted the sickest goal I've ever seen, so I figured I'd re-tag 'em in an actual post today. So, here they are, some fantastic goals:

The unnamed amateur's Amazing Goal, Mike Legg's wrap-around, Marek Malik's shootout goal, and because I love it, Stephane Matteau's series winner in 1994.

Slack Google or Yahoo! searches of the Day: Nothing crazy today, but the first one and last one really made me crack up...

--ladies molested on a train
--Kevin Nash "hot iron"
--dad fucking daughter (yet the link is to a video of Keller Williams joining ekoostik hookah at Hookahville on Through Hiker)
--Tripping fun mushrooms
--Malik Sealy retail ties

That last one succeeded in baffling me, until I saw what they were looking for...Malik Sealy actually did have his own line of ties, and I found this nugget about his business:

"Malik Sealy, a member of the Indiana Pacer's NBA basketball team...and a former star of St. John's University Redmen, has produced a line of neckwear since 1994. His line features fabrics from around the world, and a classic approach on novelty themes. Among his initial presentation of 40 patterns, is a richly woven silk that incorporates illustrations of various pages fromthe Pacer's playbook. Mr. Sealy once lost his playbook while in New York. Sealy is no stranger to fashion. His siblings and parents have worked in the fashion industry for decades, and growing up, Malik could be found not only on the basketball courts, but home sewing."

"Home sewing," sure he wasn't teased about that. Sealy made ties, you really do learn something new every day on the world wide web.

Slack Link of the Day: Trey's 1983 Yearbook supplement up for sale.

Slack Song of the Day: Let's keep this simple...Umphrey's McGee, 12/11/04 at the 9:30 Club in DC, with Miss Tinkle's Overture > Thunderstruck > Miss Tinkle's.


At 11:10 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Even though I pick on America Jr. I really do like Canada, and you make excellent points about the positive indicators that should have bolstered the Liberal party there. This is quite reminiscent of Clinton actually, except that stealing funds is slightly more serious than getting repeated hummers.

From everything I read, there is some aprehension from the Western and maritime provinces about the Lib party cozying up to the Quecois separatists, which may have fostered more discontent than was warranted by the Canadian people. I also hear that they promised everyone free maple syrup if they voted no-confidence.

Anyway, I'm sad about this because in the unlikely even that Canada does break up, I've always thought that we might get 5 more states out of it. The Maritime provinces are basically part of America anyway. They get our TV, they talk more like Minnesotans than Canadians (there is a subtle difference), and they seem to be receptive to joining the US rather than going it alone or in some loose union of provinces.

This defeat is a victory for Canadian unity. Screw that.

At 11:14 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 11:15 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

"Cozying up" isn't quite right. It's more like "Pissing off while being receptive to having them leave." Separatists like both aspects because it gives them motive and opportunity to leave, but it's not the same as "cozying up."

I also spelled Quebecois wrong, but that's the French's fault, not mine.

At 11:41 AM, Blogger ethan said...

man did i dig malik sealy. so much better than felipe lopez/zendon hamilton (who needed to take the SAT like 5 times to get the 700).

At 12:17 PM, Blogger MDS said...

I've been to Canada many times, the people all seem nice, and yet there's something I don't quite like aboot it. Part of it might be all the people who claim they're going to move there the first time an election doesn't turn out the way they want. That gets old fast.

Also: Welcome, Football Outsiders readers, to one of my favorite blogs.

At 12:30 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

We have a handful of Clandestine Canadian readers up north that I count as very close friends, so be careful what you say, fellas!

I think we should just merge -- wouldn't that be the ultimate "Barbarians at the Gate"? Instead of RJR and Nabisco, how much cooler would the inside story of the America/Canada merger be? Oh man, I just came up with a great book idea. Don't steal this.

I watched Zendon play in high school, Ethan...Sewanaka High. The kid was a manchild, an absolute beast. It's a real shame St. Johns sucked for four years after recruiting two of the most talented NY-area ballers in a long time.

And thanks MDS, I just put that together that you are the linker. I was wondering how Football Outsiders found that post.

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Trix said...

Good Morning, Ace.

After Bush was re-elected, someone emailed this website to me:


Canadians are A-OK in my book.

At 9:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i miss bubba :-(

At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now here's an enlightened and mature reason not to like another country: Because some of YOUR fellow countrymen want to move there. America: The World's Most Unique Mindset

"MDS said...
I've been to Canada many times, the people all seem nice, and yet there's something I don't quite like aboot it. Part of it might be all the people who claim they're going to move there the first time an election doesn't turn out the way they want. That gets old fast."


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