Friday, November 04, 2005

Pardon My French, Rooney

I just saw a pretty interesting item on the Drudge Report. It appears legendary coot Andy Rooney may have to explain himself to reporters when he steps out of Imus' studio in a few minutes.

Just about 20 minutes ago, Rooney quipped: "I have a problem with the term African American...The word negro is a perfectly good word. There is nothing wrong with that."

I'm wholeheartedly with Rooney on this one. The word negro is a perfectly good word. But so is crotchety old douchebag. So is screwball malcontent with a penchant for forgetting what decade it is. Rooney, why you took whatever bait was dangling there I'll never know. That's just a moronic decision, despite the particular beliefs you espouse.

Switching gears with no segue is always difficult thing. (Ir)Regardless of that, here's a completely separate train of thought. I'm wily.

Every morning I enter the subway station and pick up the free Metro newspaper. The pile of Metros sits right next to the pile of AM New Yorks, another free drop-off for city commuters. But for some strange reason, I have an irrational connection to the Metro. I'd go so far as to say when there's no Metro, I won't even pick up AM New York. It makes no sense, but it's real. I can't control it.

I have to read this fucking Metro every morning, for no good reason. It's one step above my high school newspaper and only a few steps above the fake newspaper I tried to start on my block as a 10-year-old. I guess I just love reading the "My View" column and Letters to the Editor, if for no other reason than it makes me feel good to know I can write well. How does this newspaper, free or not, find so many columnists that can argue such stupid points in such a horrific fashion? Something is rotten in the state of gratis journalism.

For example, take a look at this lede from a conservative named Mike Vogel, who looks to be about 45 in his picture (I bring that up not as a dig on his age, but mainly to prove he's not a retarded third-grader): "In our never-ending struggle to get along with the opposite sex, we are grateful for the guidance of pundits such as Maureen Dowd and Bill Maher to show us the way. Not."

Wait, did I just catch a "Not" in there?! Do we think he originally threw in the word "psyyyche" only to see it deleted by a less-than-hip editor? Heyzeus, somebody must explain to me why I pick up this rag every morning, and why they wouldn't rather have writers that can string together a solid intro and a reasonable argument about a topic that actually interests people.

Or maybe they should just hire people that don't use 1980s colloquialisms to start their columns. Come to think of it, maybe I should have started this post with the phrase "Gag me with a spoon" or "Grotie to the max." Then I'd be totally tubular.

Slack Link of the Day: Our cohort Steve over at Inflatable Dartboard sent this article over to me yesterday, a ridiculius conflict of interest case involving Supreme Court nominee Sam Alito. I'm guessing this might cause some problems for the man's confirmation, now set for early January. Politics, ain't nuthin' like it.

Slack Song of the Day: I accepted a last-minute invitation to join Russ and his buddy Aaron down at the Tribeca Rock Club last night to see Perpetual Groove, and up-and-coming Southern foursome. They're clearly their own species and have a sound all their own, but I don't think they'd object to being categorized in the Jamband family and the Disco Biscuits genus.

I was shocked at how few people showed up for the cailber of the band. These guys can draw outside of the city, being a tight band with a fresh sound. But only about 40-50 people showed they say on PT, more room for me to dance. Most of the show was stellar, although I think their ambient, trancey kind of jams fall short of what the other bands in the genre can do. Man, they can rock though. You have to see these guys next time they come to your town.

Here are some P-Groove samples: Their best song, and definitely the best one played last night, Three Weeks (and here's a live version from 10/28/05 at the Sky Bar in Auburn, AL). For some fun, check out Thriller from Monday night's Halloween show at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta. These guys can play.


At 10:42 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

It just goes to show that this virulent strain of borderline-racist-idiot virus is spreading from football coaches like LaVell and JoePa to newsmen like Rooney. Where are the antibodies, Mr. President?

At 10:44 AM, Blogger MDS said...

I used to take the free Red Eye from the guy handing them out at my train stop, but it was just too damn stupid and useless, so now I always bring my own reading material. (And I highly recommend my current train book, Night Draws Near: Iraq's People in the Shadow of America's War.)

I didn't hear what Rooney said, but I love Andy Rooney. He's a great writer and incredibly observant. And people who get all worked up about what terms we use to describe various groups of people are stupid.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger hoobs said...

i'm sorry, when i read the comment above that said "take the free red eye from the guy handing them out," my mind immediately conjourned the image of someone handing out free pictures of his stink hole, and now i can't stop giggling...
i choose am new york over metro. they also don't offer metro at my station.

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Fiedler, you magnificent bastard, you're alive. Good stuff.

MDS, I read my own stuff on the way home...on the way to work, I need to read the news, but I just don't feel like picking up a newspaper (they're all waiting for me at work).

Yeah, I'm not offended by what Andy was saying, I'm offended that he doesn't know any better! Shit, if you read through my old posts, I've used the word "coloreds" repeatedly.

I mean, we live in such a PC fucking cultre and he's been in hot water before...he should know that. I guess you get to a certain age where you just don't give a shit, and that's cool, ese.

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Rooney lost all credibility with me years ago after Kurt Cobain’s suicide with his rambling diatribe slamming Cobain. It was something about how Cobain had no problems and America’s youth had to stop whining because they didn’t live through the depression and blah blah blah.

He might as well just have “I’m irrelevant” tattooed on his forehead.

At 11:27 AM, Blogger MDS said...

BTW, nice Ferris Bueller reference in the headline. I always liked the self-importance of Edward R. Rooney, dean of students. I like Jeffrey Jones on Deadwood, too. Although I'm a little creeped out about the allegations that he and Pee-Wee Herman were involved in a kiddie porn ring.

At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Andy Rooney said...

Did you ever notice that old people tend to use outdated racial language?

Why is that?

I don't think it's rudeness, racism, or even being just plain old-fashioned. I think it's due to stubborness.

Back in my day, wwe did a lot of good things. And we did a lot of not so good things too. My generation would like to think that we've corrected most of the bad things by now, or at least those things that were in our power. There's really nothing we can do about riots in France, or those abercrombie and fitch t-shirts.

One of the things that we did was to get rid of that other n-word. Frankly, it's one of the most offensive words out there. It's a bad word, and, we don't use that word anymore.

But the n-word in question here? This is where stubborness takes over. I have no problem with the term "African American," it's just that it takes so darn long to say it. I could go on my show, every Sunday, and talk about "African Americans doing this and African Americans doing that", and those extra syllables would really eat into my time. The show, after all, is only 60 minutes, and I don't get much of that.

And, of course, some people would even be offended by that. My question is, what's wrong with this other n-word? It used to be fine. The first n-word was never ok, but this one was. Granted, white people probably used it in a condescending manner at some point in time, but back in the old days, that was true of pretty much every word that whites used to refer to African-Americans. So what's so bad about this one? If no one can tell me why something is wrong, or offensive, well, like I said, me and my generation are a stubborn lot.

Some people have told me that I should just say "black."

I told them that I thought I did.

At 1:23 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

To paraphrase the incomparable Bill Ocean... That's simply awesome.

At 1:47 PM, Anonymous CHefra said...

I used to work at C.B.S. and the first time I saw Andy Rooney I was afraid that he was gonna drop dead right there. The guy on TV and the real-life guy are two completely different people. Andy Rooney is about 3 feet tall, the worst posture this side of the sister from Pet Semetary, and he looks to be 250 years old. To see him in person you would be suprised that he could even speak in sentences.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Rooney, well said. You could have just said, "This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it" and I would have given you a free pass.

At 3:20 PM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

Have you ever taken the AM New York on a day when the Metro isn't there? If you think the Metro is bad, damn man, you're in for a treat. Not only is AM horribly written, it's basically just a tabloid magazine that focuses on celebrity gossip and bullshit, and has way too many pages of ads.

As far as P-Groove goes, I didn't even realize they were in NY last night. When I was in Atl I saw them several times in a small bar near Emory...they were very enjoyable, but didn't really stick out all that much compared to some of the other bands I saw at the same place. That's not to say that I wouldn't want to see them again though.

Andy Rooney is an idiot. In the words of Ali-G, he is a "racialist"

At 3:32 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Chefra, excellent use of personal experience to add to the discussion. Five gold stars. If he looks 250 in real life, he looks 175 on TV.

Elliot, I just found out they were playing at like 4:30 yesterday. Talk about a show that went totally under the radar. They played very well though, and I got in for free, so it was well worth the money...

At 3:48 PM, Blogger Russell Kahn said...

Funny, I saw Andy Rooney in a midtown restaurant a week or two ago. Well, I didn't so much see him as hear him at another table. ("Did you ever notice how this steak is undercooked?)

Anyway, I walked out in front of him. He was indeed a walking corpse--tiny, shriveled, no less than 284 years old.

P.S. Why are black people so tall? Because they're negroes! Get it? Knee-grows? I don't...


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