Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Random Thought du Jour

In the elevator up to the cafeteria, I caught a brief snippet of the latest Campbell's Chunky Soup commercial with closeted bald man Donovan McNabb and his mother. But the volume was turned way down, so I couldn't hear what they were saying.

This latest installment of this Cleo award-winning campaign not only features McNabb and his mater, but also running back Brian Westbrook and another Eagle (I didn't get a good look before the doors opened, I just caught the #36). Since I couldn't hear what they were saying, it got me thinking about what they might be talking about in this new mersh. Here's what I put together:

McMom: Donovan, child, eat yo' Chunky Soup.
McNabb: Allright, Moms.
McMom: Brian and the other guy, din' yo' moms tell you to eat'cho Chunky Soup when youse was boys?
Westbrook: Well, Mrs. McNabb, my mom got killed in a knife fight with my Uncle JJ when I was 9, and my dad's been in jail since I was born. So I grew up in a foster home with a rich white couple that fed me and my sister nothing but lobster bisque or shark fin soup whenever we asked for Chunky.
McMom: Oooh, child, summertime and the livin' is easy!
Don Pardo: Campbell's Chunky Soooup: What you should eat if you're not rich, your mother's not dead and your father's not in jaaaail.

That's not even funny, and it's definitely a little racist. But I wanted to give y'all an unprecedented glimpse into how my mind works when I'm getting lunch and the elevator television's on mute.

I'm out of here in 30 minutes, Slackers...Handstand the Elder and I are off to a taping of The Daily Show, then we're running a few blocks east to the Trey Anastasio Affirmative Funtime Band show at the Roseland Ballroom. Good times ahead.

It's funny, seven years ago tonight Trey was playing world-class stuff in Chicago with that old band and I was rockin' out in the crowd (Been Caught Stealin' -- are you kiddin' me?!). Tonight, he'll be playing poppy tunes with a bunch of scrubs, and I'll be partially rockin' out and partially thinking of ways to make fun of him on the Internets. My my, what a difference seven years makes.


At 3:31 PM, Blogger MDS said...

What does closeted bald man mean?

At 3:51 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

I believe that Mr. Cowboy is referring to the expanding bald spot on the top of McNabb's head, and the copius amount of hair that McNabb maintains to disguise said spot.

But I could be wrong. Maybe he thinks McNabb is just gay.

At 4:00 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...


Three nights at UIC! I had forgotten all about those shows. I hit the show in Madison before the Chicago concerts. By the fourth day of my trek I think I was legally dead. I somehow drove from Chicago to Peoria after the last show. I woke up the next morning and did not remember a single thing from the drive (and I was actually sober)

That Frankenstein was sick!!!

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yeah, MDS, Noonan's got it. He just won't admit to himself that he's bald. Or balding.

Alex, didn't know you were a fan...that UIC run was great, although I missed the Madison show and first night because of freakin' Parents' Weekend at school. Damn parents.

The 11/8 show was pretty good musically, but Donnie and I had bad seats. This guy behind us sat down the whole time, grumpy, and then when they broke into Been Caught Stealin, he burst out of his seat and yelled for four straight minutes. Hilarious.

The 11/9 show will forever be ethced in my brain -- see the above post for why that is. Man, that night...we were right by the stage, trippin balls. Little freak-out, but Moma Dance saved my life. And that a capella Freebird was nothing short of magic.

Ahhh, memories.


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