Wednesday, December 07, 2005

It's Not Delivery, It's DiGiorno

I honestly have nothing today. Nuthin's goin' on up there.

It's been a busy morning, I'm knee deep in some sexy shit concerning the World Trade Organization and H1-B visas, and I just don't have any of my creative or orange juices flowing. No, that's a lie, the orange juice was flowing like wine this morning, right down my alimentary canal like a citrus log flume. And it was good, yo.

So in lieu of anything even remotely comical or insightful from your ol' Ace Cowboy, let's turn to some important local news. It appears one of New York's most prominent drug-dealing delivery services has been involuntarily shut down:

"A drug organization calling itself the Cartoon Network delivered high-grade marijuana to the doors of affluent clients in New York City and Long Island who identified themselves on the phone with the code-word 'cartoon,' according to court documents.

Drug Enforcement Administration agents arrested more than a dozen members of the 20-person network in the past week, according to sources familiar with the case," Newsday reported.

Let's ignore the fact that Newsday editors inexplicably flipped the first two grafs of this article (how do you put the lede in the second graf, lickbags??) and get down to brass tacks.

I say good for the DEA here. They needed to make a public display of justice, and they chose to infiltrate and take down the service that most New Yorkers despise. Cartoon Network's quality and quantity have both become more of a joke than Danny LaRusso's karate, and I'm sure many of their customers would have preferred if they went down years ago.

It's not like there's a shortage of drugs in New York, and make no mistake, these services are heavily protected by somebody (Mafia? Police? Guardian Angels?) out there, so they're not all goin' down.

As new Slack commenter en regalia astutely pointed out to me, the people "who are really sweating bullets are the $50 gram 'users' who do not know where to go to get their DOP (drug of preference) now." Anybody want to get rich quick? Mr. Nice Guy Part Deux?

One more point: This kinda stuck in my craw on second read (yeah, I read it twice) -- "More than 80 agents were involved in the raids."

They needed more than 80 agents to bust a marijuana ring that caters to well-adjusted folks that just like to get high? Sure, it's an illegal activity and that's bad, but couldn't these 80 agents be put to better use than this? Maybe something like, and well, I'm no cop so this is just a guess, stopping terrorism or fighting violent crime.

Let the people be free to cloud their own brains with bong resin. It should be the job of the police not to stop those activities but to stop the people that do harm to others. Koombayah, bitches.

Here's The Smoking Gun's contribution to the story.

Slack Link of the Day: Noonan's featuring an awesome new sport over on his site: Chessboxing. It's a glorious day for fans of the fictional and now cliche ESPN 8 -- the Ocho.

Slack Song of the Day: It'll be a special night at the Tribeca Rock Club this evening, one of the final nights of the venue before Lower Manhattan luxury condos rise in its place.

So come on down tonight, where Marco Benevento, Joe Russo, Scott Metzger and Dave Dreiwitz (Ween) will play Zeppelin tunes as part of their "Bustle in Your Hedgerow" set. Also appearing, Scott and Joe's cowboy act about drinking, fighting and fucking, Danjaboots, and Marco and Joe's Come On Falcon shennanigans.

In honor of that, here are some tunes by RANA, Scott Metzger's band, from March 4, 2005 at the Moose Lodge in Doylestown, PA (O'Doylestown Rules!): My One Dear Son, I Waste It, New Juice and the Talking Heads' Thank You For Sending Me an Angel.


At 12:19 PM, Blogger ethan said...

i would recommend you talk to sampson, but the doctor says he needs a backiotomy.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Muthafucka said ice cream...

At 2:45 PM, Blogger hoobs said...

i love butter nuts; buttered stuff


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