Friday, December 30, 2005

MLP Goes Global

Standing atop the shoulders of the overused "They love David Hasselhoff in Germany" standard, I declare today, they sure do love Mary-Louise Parker around the world.

If it can be said that globalization has succeeded in making it easier for companies to outsource jobs and relocate plants and production to low-wage countries, it can also be said that globalization has succeeded in making it easier for every man in the world to beat off furiously to the striking beauty and sensuous nudity of the lovely Ms. Parker. What do you think of that theory, Friedman?

Like any good blogger worth his weight in ego and self-involvement, I enjoy checking the referrals page on the Site Meter, and I do so often. Lately I've been getting a lot of traffic from websurfers looking for one of three things: Serialpod, an ESPN Insider password (sorry guys, like Dan Aykroyd's Caddyshack II character, I don't haaaave it), and this quasi-naked picture of Mary-Louise Parker from Esquire.

It's been happening for months, but in just the past 24 hours, Slack's received multiple referrals from the United Arab Emirates, Sweden and Canada (I'm looking specifically at you, British Columbia), and we've provided joy to some lonely fellows in Lebanon, Kuwait, Finland, Denmark, Belgium, Brazil, Portugal, Australia, Germany, S. Korea and even Unknown Country. Maybe that's the Ultimate Warrior strokin' it to MLP in his dainty cottage in Parts Unknown.

They can't get enough of her soft white skin in Scandanavia, or her freedom-loving buttocks in the Middle East, or her sassmouth in Saskatewan. I got nuthin' for why the Portuguese-speaking countries love her -- maybe she's on record in favor of the Line of Demarcation.

Of course, Slack still gets its fair share of hilarious Google and Yahoo! searches, like this one from Thursday: "Both balls in mouth." And wouldn't you know it, the post it links to is about the Redheaded Fuckface. We're all Gay-4-Trey, I guess.

But to all my foreign friends searching for the above pho-to to lube up your naughty thoughts at night, this one's for you. Long live MLP.

Slack Link of the Day: Ladies and gentlemen, "The Smoking Gun is proud to unveil the Top 15 Mug Shots of 2005."

Slack Profile in Courage of the Day: They just don't make 'em like this kid any, sir, they surely do not:

"Maybe it was the time the taxi dumped him at the Iraq-Kuwait border, leaving him alone in the middle of the desert. Or when he drew a crowd at a Baghdad food stand after using an Arabic phrase book to order. Or the moment a Kuwaiti cab driver almost punched him in the face when he balked at the $100 fare.

But at some point, Farris Hassan, a 16-year-old from Florida, realized that traveling to Iraq by himself was not the safest thing he could have done with his Christmas vacation."

This is seriously an amazing tale...the Iraqi cojones on this dude. Let the short countdown until he announces his book deal now commence.

Slack Song of the Day: It's been a while since I've posted anything by the Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra, a NY-based afrobeat band I'd absolutely love to see more of in 2006. I just found out Antibalas means "bullet-proof" in Spanish, and that's pretty cool, methinks.

(Ir)Regardless, here's Government Magic, Open and Close, and Elephant from August 1, 2003 in Charlottesville VA.


At 10:46 AM, Blogger Trix said...

My favorite google search linked to my site so far...Dookie Breath.

At 10:57 AM, Blogger hoobs said...

for some reason, that picture of mlp really bothers me. as you know, ace, i too have a considerable fondness for ms. parker. i always thought she was attractive, but it was really her wit and sexy eye squints that did it for me; her spunkiness, if you will. for me, her posing nude sullies the image for me.

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

That's blasphemous...this pic says she's fun, she's impulsive, she's spunky, she like to mix it up. Little too much baby oil, but otherwise, I lubs her.

At 2:49 PM, Anonymous seyeko said...

she looks like a plastic whore doll in that here pic!


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