Tuesday, January 24, 2006

America's Worldview

There are about 298 million people living in the United States, and I'd guess only about 15 or 20 actually give a turd about yesterday's special Canadian elections. By the way, to be clear, Canada's that giant tundra to the north, the one that's full of mooseheads, igloos and the occasional SARS outbreak.

The relatively new Conservatives will hold the most seats in Parliament, ousting Paul Martin's Liberal Party recently rocked by a scandal that reeked of arrogance (and I'm not talking about "The Model" Rick Martel's perfume atomizer he utilized as a cheating instrument in the squared circle). The new, right-leaning government isn't quite a majority, but it has officially been installed into power.

What this means for both Canadians and Americans remains to be seen. But I'm pretty sure the Bush administration just gained a major ally in government, even though its citizens still rightly detest most of our policies with their hockey tape and flannel. I'd say this paves the way for an eventual annexation, but the Canucks'll just yank this government out of power whenever they cozy up too close to the Republicans down here.

To my Canadian bretheren, enjoy your new leadership. I can only hope you didn't escalate some dipshits into power just because the last guys were a little too smug. We did something like that in '94, and well, you can see how that worked out for us.

On a related note, here's the new map being shipped to all middle and high schools around the country:

Slack Link of the Day: In addition to the hilariously accurate map embedded above, some fine folks pointed me towards this outstanding oratory bonanza. Some Internet denizens with whom I conspire truly live off the fat of the land -- while most people use the ol' porn-n-email machine for just that, and Google, these guys are finding gold in them there webby hills.

I'm not the biggest fan of poetry out there, but the written and spoken word has always intrigued me. So check out this pretty cool site that features free mp3s of some famous poets and authors reading their works aloud.

There are many to choose from, but I immediately gravitated to the William S. Burroughs "Naked Lunch" reading.

Slack Horny Link of the Day: Whoa, man, check out how many female teachers out there are sleeping with their teenage students. Cathy Heminghaus looks real hot.

Slack Song of the Day: I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but here's the Dirty Dozen Brass Band (one of the cooler bands I saw in 2005) on Use Me Up, Do It Fluid and Can't Play No More from 7/28/05 in Rochester.


At 10:39 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Pretty sure that's American Idiots misspelling "Moosehead." Goddamn.

At 10:39 AM, Blogger ethan said...

i like that map and all, but what's a mouse head?

At 10:47 AM, Blogger MDS said...

That's a hell of a list of female teachers. One thing I haven't read, but I'm sure someone with some research savvy could easily do, is a comparison of the sentences of men convicted of having sex with female students and women convicted of having sex with male students.

At 11:46 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

MDS, didn't we go through this whole thing the last time we talked about Debra LeFave and the double standard?

It exists, yet nobody to our knowledge has quanitified it. "Quantify deez nuts," says the 15-year-old to the math teacher.

At 12:03 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

MDS, Steven Levitt is working on a sequel to Freakonomics called "Freakonomics II: Gettin' Freaky" where he analyzes the prison sentences that male teachers who have sex with female students receive and compares them to the sentences that their female colleagues receive for sexin' up little boys. His conclusions may surprise you.


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