Ashlee Simpson Sex Tape
Not sure if this is real or not, but I figured I'd post it for y'all to check out and report back. I couldn't be less attracted to this charlatan, but hey, amateur porn is amateur porn.
From the ever clever website ashlee-simpson-sextape.com: "Various wire reports say that Ashlee Simpson is terrified after a homemade sex tape made with an ex-boyfriend has been released on the Internet. The sextape features Ashlee having sex in various positions and were made before she got famous. The tape was stolen from her panic room at her mansion in the hills of Orange Country while she was at a skiing vacation in the Netherlands late last year."
Hold up, Ashlee Simpson has a panic room and an Orange County mansion? All bought with her dirty lip sync money? Why are people famous for being famous, especially when they look like a cross between a retarded bird and a spastic horse?
The Joker was right, this town needs an enema. Find out more and download the vid at CelebProject.com (NSFW). And let me know what you find. Post-haste, Slackers.
You wanna get me excited, either get me a sex tape of that Other Simpson (OJ, of course) or buy me this copy of Playboy in Braille. No, that's not a joke [hat tip, Electric Commentary].