Monday, January 23, 2006

But Was It Consensual?

I've never been a huge fan of Kobe, but last night's 81-point performance can be considered nothing less than amazing.

When all is said and done, it'll probably rank as the greatest offensive game of all-time (Kobe's not a foot taller than his primary defender).

The Raptors appeared unwilling, but Kobe penetrated their defense, tore the Raptors a new one and dropped a huge load all over the T-Dot All-Stars. The verdict is in: Good stuff, sir.

It's unfortunate, however, that Kobe's incredible performance dwarfed the day's galactically boring NFL championship games. I mean, say what you will about the other football, but even the Premiership's 1-1 draw between first-place Chelsea and struggling Charlton made the NFL match-ups look more like C-SPAN.

(Sorry for the trite jokey jokes at Kobe's expense, but if you're looking for real comedy, check out my NFL 2005 Season Preview. Noice.)

21 Comments:

At 3:37 PM, Blogger MDS said...

The guy guarding Wilt in that game in 1962 was Cleveland Buckner, who was 6-foot-9. Wilt was 7-foot-1.

 
At 3:44 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Shit.

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous handstand said...

Kobe could score 150 points, cure aids at halftime, and I'd still think he's d-bag.

 
At 3:59 PM, Blogger ethan said...

that may be true, but it'd be pretty easy to argue that a guard putting up 81 on 28 of 46 from the field and 18-20 from the line is more impressive than wilt's game.

i think a more interesting thing to find out was at what point did kobe just decide to do this? did he read the sports guy ripping him for coming out a few weeks ago after scoring 60 in 3 quarters? did he wake up on sunday and say to himself let's show the world something that hasn't been seen in 40 years? did he decide after warm ups? after the first quarter?

 
At 4:09 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

d-bottle

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger MDS said...

I agree with handstand. Even if you don't think Kobe is a rapist, he obviously cares more about personal glory than about winning. Orchestrating the Shaq trade made him my all-time least-favorite player. I can appreciate his greatness, and he is a great pure scorer, but I'll never like him.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

I think he decided after looking down the bench at his teammates, pointing at each one saying "Odom? Nah, he doesn't pass, so fuck 'em. Mihm? Who the fuck are you? Kwame? He'll forget where he is. Smush? SMUSH? Devean? Too ugly. Sasha? Are you a girl? Luke? Sorry whitey. Shit, I'll have to do this thing myself."

Commence onslaught. He scored 8 points in a span of like 20 seconds, ridiculous.

"Bryant scores 81 in Sunday showdown, sodomizes 4 women in celebration"

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger jakezebra said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:25 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I agree with Donnie. It's d-bottle.

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

d-licious

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger ethan said...

coincidentally matty, odom led the team in assists yesterday with 7. the fact that a guy hit 26 shots and no one had more than 7 assists is pretty amazing in itself.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Yeah, I couldn't come up with anything substantial on Odom. You are correct. I never checked the box score. Is it amazing or sad that no one had more than 7 assists when one players scored 81? I'm going with sad.

Odom, widely considered the best worst player in the NBA, stood next to me for a solid 10 minutes during his graduation ceremony at URI. You could pick him out of the crowd of thousands relatively easily. Not because he was taller than everyone by a foot though. Because his graduation gown was wide open the whole time revealing his Jordan jumpsuit and shower sandals. I don't think I have seen anyone so stoned in my life, in person.

 
At 4:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kobe also had a gaudy 3 assists in the game. Way to be a team player Kobe!

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger ethan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 5:39 PM, Blogger ethan said...

i dislike kobe as much as the next guy, but you can't honestly sit here and complain that he only had 3 assists on the nite he pours in 81 points. 81 fucking points! that's like complaining that kerry wood pitched inefficiently and had too high a pitch count the day he struck out 20.

it's okay to objectively view greatness even if you don't like the artist.

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger Guss said...

I hate Kobe. He breaks up the Lakers dynasty for himself and then just to feed his ego just shoots away all night leaving his teammates in the dark. I'd be pissed if I was Lamar Odom. But Im glad that Shaq now plays with D Wade.

 
At 12:31 AM, Anonymous Greg said...

The guy guarding Wilt? If it was anything like typical Wilt games, it was probably more like 3 or 4 guys....

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

The more I think about it, the more I think this is the best offensive performance ever. How many shots do we think Wilt hit outside the paint? For a perimeter player to hit for 81 points -- EIGHTY ONE POINTS -- that's just spectacular.

Not a big Kobe fan, as I said, but I'm still floored by this today.

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger MDS said...

Then again, Kobe gets the advantage of three-point shots, which Wilt didn't have. (In case you can't tell, I love Wilt and hate Kobe, so I'm going to be that annoying guy who keeps contradicting anyone who tries to say Kobe's game is better.)

 
At 5:13 PM, Anonymous handstand said...

I don't know why, but this feat just does nothing for me. Maybe it is my dislike of Kobe, or my general hatred for the NBA, but I think I'd be much more impressed if an MLB player hit 5 home runs in one game or struck out 25. It just does nothing for me.

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I had a fantasy basketball team name one year called "I Hate the NBA." That was the last year I did fantast hoops. I also don't care for Kobe, him being one of my least favorite athletes that doesn't wear a Red Sawx uniform.

But, c'mon, you HAVE to respect this performance. Jordan couldn't even come close to 81, and he was the most dominant athlete ever (or one of the top, say, three).

It has nothing to do with the sport, or the man, this is about appreciating greatness. This is about instant electricity. This is about witnessing excellence.

I'm not instigating anything, but I truly feel bad for people that can't at least appreciate what this guy did the other night.

 

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