Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Night of the Insomniac

I'm in trouble here. I didn't sleep at all last night. Not wink one.

At age 26, I just pulled a full, unintentional all-nighter for the first time since college. And now I get to complete a 10-hour workday on no repose whatsoever.

I tossed, I turned, but ultimately I remained calm and suffered my fate in utter peace. This has happened plenty before -- I'm a cyclical insomniac. Of course I made up that amateur diagnosis, but I think it's both true and applicable.

Usually it starts after I finish a great, provocative book; this time I set it off by finishing a great, non-active vacation.

I've only come in to work twice in the last 17 days, so I'm sure the anxiety of coming back to the office after such a long layoff played tricks on mi cerebro. Combine that with the fact that I haven't been to bed before 3 or 4 am in at least a week and you're reading the ramblings of one sleepless monkey.

I probably should have used the time wisely, but instead of doing anything sleep-enducing or self-productive, the Insomniac Set went something like this:

12 am SportsCenter > GameDay Final, last 45 minutes of Over the Top, two excellent English Premiership matches (Liverpool v. Bolton 2-2 tie > Newcastle v. Middlesbrough 2-2 tie), shaved and showered, started this post > came to work.

Speaking of the Stallone arm-wrestling vehicle, Over The Top, today is Robert Loggia's 76th birthday. And even one of his always-stellar and always over-the-top (fittingly) performances couldn't save this movie from falling a few levels from where my mind had once placed it. After years without viewing the movie, I must say, it really doesn't stand the test of time. The acting is atrocious, the schmaltz is everywhere. Trust me, it's much worse than you remember it.

The saving grace? The soundtrack is a gold mine. Between Sammy Hagar's Winner Takes It All (over a great tourney prelims montage) and Kenny Loggins' Meet Me Half Way, the accompanying songs almost make this movie re-watchable. Almost. 'Cause the winner takes it all, Loser takes a fall, Fight to the beginning of the end.

(Birthday Boy Loggia, incidentally, is a great character actor, but his best role will always be the Florida Orange Juice commerical he did around the year 2000. This site has the rough transcript of one of the most bizarrely hilarious mershes of all time. If you managed to catch it during its short run, I bet you're a better person for it.)

So here I sit, sleepy-eyed but sleepless, jolted by a morning Coca-Cola at a desk I haven't seen in nearly a fortnight. If it weren't for the memory of last night's high-larious and fucking brilliant Arrested Development, I'd seriously be hating life. As it is, I'm just really disliking it. Way to get 2006 off to a hot start, brain.

Happy New Year to all my slumber-enhanced friends and colleagues.

Slack Link of the Day, ala Mitchell VergerDartz III: Toonces ain't the only cool cat with applicable human qualities...check out this life-saving fantastic feline. In tribute, I think the cat's owner should shit in a box of sand and bury the turds for a week or two. Seems fair.

Slack Video of the Day: Conan reviews the year...mmm, good.

Slack Song of the Day: Let's start the year off on the right foot, with a little Miles Davis and the Cool Pee Pants Orchestra. This show is from the beginning of the jazz fusion movement he created, and so far it's tremendous (I'm about 25 minutes in). Jazz fans and non-fans alike should both give this show a try. And to know that this was new and experimental and anything but jazz as usual at the time should not be forgotten.

So here's Miles from 4/12/70...even cooler is the fact that this was most likely recorded at the Fillmore before the Grateful Dead came out to headline. Could you imagine that bill?! Miles opening for the Dead? One of music's greatest innovators setting the table for one of rock's greatest innovating groups? Sickness.

Fuck, Bill Graham was the man.


At 10:38 AM, Blogger Trix said...

Were you out of bourbon? Or Tequila? Or any booze?

At 11:46 AM, Blogger Momentary Academic said...

I wish that I had had your phone number. I was awake until 3:30am. I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep before work this morning. I still have the zombie-esque thing going for me though. Hot. I know.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Here are your actual medical diagnosis options:

1)291.82 - Alcohol Induced Sleep Disorders

2)292.85 - Drug induced sleep disorders

3)307.41 - Transient disorder of initiating or maintaining sleep

4)307.42 - Persistent disorder of initiating or maintaining sleep

5)307.49 - Other specific disorders of sleep of nonorganic origin

6)327.0 - Organic disorders of initiating and maintaining sleep [Organic insomnia]

7)327.00 - Organic insomnia, unspecified

8)327.01 - Insomnia due to medical condition classified elsewhere

9)327.02 - Insomnia due to mental disorder

10)327.09 - Other organic insomnia

11)780.51 - Insomnia with sleep apnea, unspecified

12)780.52 - Insomnia, unspecified

13)V69.5 - Problems related to lifestyle, behavioral insomnia of childhood

Pick one, pick 'em all.

Happy New Year. How did you celebrate?

At 11:57 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Matty, I have no idea what those numbers mean...none. Help?

We had a nice party at my apt, about 12 people for dinner and then peaking at about 16-17. Great times, really. I can't picture a better night.

MA, that woulda worked well...I needed someone to talk to. Next time you can't sleep, post something on your blog, like a symbol. I'll flash my light twice, you run to the window and drop a pot from the sill. Then I'll know you're good to go.

I'm seriously delirious right now. Tough way to start the New Year.

At 1:37 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Those numbers are the codes that represent the actuall diagnoses. When you bill a health insurance claim, you represent the diagnoses with those numbers. Same thing goes for the procedures. For examples, a routine office visit would look like:

Procedure = 99213 - Routine mid-level office visit for an established patient

Diagnosis = V700 - Routine medical exam at an outpatient/office facility

It's a hell of a lot more complicated than that, but you get the gist.

My favorite diagnosis of all time is:

E9091 - Injury due to volcanic eruption.

There are plenty more like that too.

I need a life.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger Momentary Academic said...

Your response was perfect. Now I have to go for more coffee. I hope that you sleep soon. I know that I want to sleep.

At 2:19 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Three words, Ace:

Tylenol Simply Sleep.

Take three of those ten hours before you wake up and you'll be a changed man come sun up.

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

"Take three of those ten hours before you wake up and you'll be a changed man come sun up."

Ten hours? That requires me to take said pills at freakin' 8 pm. Not happening. I don't have to get up for good at 6 am, but I must be functioning for a few minutes. No can do on 10 hours.

Appreciate the advice though...I like insomnia though, it's fun. I have a lot of "me" time.

At 3:07 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

"me" time...

Well if thats what you mean, ace, then you can always play the old "take-three-excedrin pm-and-see-if-you-can-still-rub-one-out-before-falling-asleep" game.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger Russell Kahn said...

Beth and I were right there with you, Slack. I mean, I'm an insomniac usually. But Beth was all wired at 2 a.m., asking "What do you do for insominia?"

My response was simple: "Suffer."

I am truly delirious today. Walking around the office, mumbling incoherently...


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