Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Sounds Awesome, Fellas

On the heels of our extensive Marriage Approval Ratings debate back in late November, Red Cowboy just discovered and sent along this Craigslist "public service announcement" about what guys can expect from the first 10 years of marriage.

Here's a sample: "Years 3-5: Along comes the house and kids. Through it all, you find less and less time or reason to have sex. You go from 7 or more orgasms a week down to probably once a month. You get a bloated beer belly and your love handles turn into big bulges. She gets flabby with baby weight that just won’t go away. The second kid is even worse. She refuses to get stitched up after the second kid and so she’s now so loose you can’t even come inside her. When you do have sex, it’s like fucking a bowl of pudding."

And it gets even better (or worse, actually) after that. Nice, I'm now really looking forward to one day entering this sacred institution.

6 Comments:

At 5:45 PM, Blogger MDS said...

Don't knock fucking a bowl of pudding until you've tried it.

Actually, this does leave open the possibility that my marriage approval ratings are so high after six years mainly because we don't have kids.

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Double true.

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

WooHoo. Two more years 'til he hopes to God I'm banging someone on the side.

If I test that theory, it'll end badly.

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

If you do decide to fuck a bowl of homemade pudding, make sure you wait until it has cooled down before going at it. I'm just saying...

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger MDS said...

Hey, speaking of which, I found a great way to separate the skin from the top of the pudding without leaving any around the edges: Exacto knife.

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Pudding skin singles are great to masturbate with...or so I hear.

 

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