Friday, February 03, 2006

Bulletpoints de Viernes

Just some random thoughts to discuss on this wet Friday...

--Bold Statement of the Year: If we had a Democratic president and a smarter commissioner right now, the World Baseball Classic wouldn't have been hastily constructed and played in March; it would take place in December 2007 on the island of Cuba. The sad thing is, I truly believe that, and I think it would be awesome.

--You know that song you occasionally heard in the old days, the one that goes "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, you would cry too if it happened to you"? What the fuck is this chick cryin' about? You don't know any other lyrics to that silly tune, nobody does. So what happens to her at this party? And did people actually dance to a song about a girl bawling at a celebratory event? While this woman suffered so mightily in her heart? Shouldn't we instead be concerned about her mental health and general welfare? I bet she's just having her period or something.

(--It's even worse than I imagined! The girl in the song above has every reason to be as upset as she is. I'm not sure of the context, but either her long-time crush or boyfriend Johnny ditched her party early and ran off with that strumpet Judy. And they come back in, that whore's wearing his ring. Sad, really. I now feel bad for insinuating anything mentral-related.)

--Here are three wholly underrated musicians or groups you really should check out if you have never heard their fabulous music: Milt Jackson, Horace Silver, and Cymande.

Milt's the legendary master of the vibraphone, and if you listen to this album enough, you'll wonder why you've never heard of him and why there aren't more bands that feature the vibes. Horace tickles the ol' keys better than just about anybody, one of the more underrated jazz musicians ever, and I implore you to check out this album. Hoobs found the funk-soul band Cymande through one of Spike Lee's joints, and since the day he burned me a variation of this album, I've had it near the top of the rotation. I'm a giver -- don't say I never gave you brutish ingrates nothing.

--I'm searching all corners of my brain, and I'm not sure there's a more embarassing way to be pinched by the police, especially if you're already somewhat famous.

"Um, honey, sorry but I got busted picking up a hooker. And yeah, I was dressed in drag." I'm pretty sure the only way this could be worse is if the hooker was black. Wait, what? That's a cheap shot. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Some of my best friends are black hookers.

Slack Video of the Day: Resident fluffer MDS sent over this gem, another clever clip taking advantage of the Brokeback Mountain theme and a spiffy editing machine. This time, it's Brokeback to the Future. I'll rank this one below The Shining and Sleepless in Seattle, but it's definitely a whole notch above than the Top Gun vid.

Slack Link of the Day: Insect-Rodent fight! A praying mantis takes on a mouse inside a glass jar...where's your money riding?

Slack Song of the Day: Most people only know Peter Tosh for his ganja-lovin' single Legalize It. But his music is much more than that, and he's another one of those incredibly underrated musicians like the trio mentioned above.

When I co-hosted a radio show in college with Hoobs -- The Block Party on WNUR 89.3 FM -- Tosh's Steppin' Razor was the show's theme song, and it's the second tune from the following show. So it gives me great joy to present this Boulder concert from 2/13/79 in its entirety. Rainy days have always been great for reggae.

13 Comments:

At 10:35 AM, Blogger MDS said...

I think there are two great questions that come up with songs you hear over and over. One is "What is she crying about at her party?" Thanks for answering, Ace.

The other is "What is the 'that' that Meatloaf won't do for love?" I listened to that whole damn song waiting to find out what "that" was, assuming it was going to be like "slice my scrotum open" or "kill my entire family." But it turns out to be "see that it's time to move on." What a disappointment.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Nooooo silly. "That" is anal sex.

At least that's what I hear. So I giggle when I hear that song.

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger Mr. Underhill said...

Allow me to comment on the Mouse-Mantis fight. Wow. Just wow. That is some seriously f*cked up sh*t. Watching that mouse bleed to death will haunt me for years to come like Sandler's foot did to Turturro in in Mr. Deeds. I haven't been that disturbed by the animal kingdom since I watched baby penguins freeze to death in March of the Penguins.

But in another vein, kudos to the inevitably pimpled, nose-picking loser who took time out of his busy schedule of Final Fantasy XVII and burning ants with a magnifying lens to Don King that bitch. I mean, how did he know that these two would be so well matched? I would have picked the mammal in a walk. And good for that praying mantis - I hope they gave him some jar time with a nice female mantis after his victory.

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger MDS said...

I give praying mantis vs. mouse an A for the concept but an F for cinematography, lighting and play-by-play. I'd like to see some more animal fights, but we need to have some professionals producing it and Jim Lampley announcing.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger MDS said...

BTW, if you're wondering who would win in a variety of animal fights, I recommend Bob's Animal Fights.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Trix said...

Mentral-related, or menstrual-related? Just curious...

 
At 11:49 AM, Anonymous tracie said...

Slack,
The best part about that song is that there is a sequel! I kid you not....it's called It's Judy Turn to Cry.

My Mom raised me on that shit. Classic.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

So there is, tracie! Thanks for the heads up...

Wow, this is madness. I wonder how it turned out after all these years. Personally I think Johnny has some serious soul-searching to do, don't you?

As for a commenter named Mr. Underhill...you can't do that. You can't do that because instead of reading your comment seriously, I've just been thinking of Fletch lines for the last half hour. How's the urinalysis?

Thanks for pointing out my lack of female knowledge, Trixie...

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

And good for that praying mantis - I hope they gave him some jar time with a nice female mantis after his victory

Isn't it true that the female mantis eats the male mantis after coitus? I say give him some jar time with a 12-pack of Magic Hat, a pack of smokes and some HDTV, before his post-fight press conference.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger Mr. Underhill said...

Good call, Matty. I actually knew that but I thought I could get it under the radar. With such an intelligent audience, I should have known that someone would've remembered that from fourth grade science, where I, admittedly, and I'm sure a lot of the other gifted-class-in-elementary-school-turned-pothead-at-{insert name of top 25 college here}-Slack-reader-brethren hit our respective intellectual peaks.

Look at me with my impressive 10+ word hyphen string.

And Ace, ask Dr. Rosenpenis.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Didn't mean to call you out, if it sounded that way. I'm actually Steve Irwin, so I need to make sure all zoological/biological/ecological/animalogical/gynecological facts are straight.

 
At 1:23 AM, Anonymous Greg said...

I've told people for years that Peter Tosh was the most talented Wailer, including Bob. You can only imagine some of the responses I got. Nice to know that someone else digs him.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger ahren said...

we KNOW how it turned out for johnny!!!!

anyone remember "johnny's turn to cry????"

classic follow-up

 

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