Friday, February 24, 2006

Face Time

I'll grant you only one guess as to which talk show host asked this raunchy question in a taping of his/her show yesterday:

"So you've had men ejaculate in your face?"

a. Howard Stern
b. Dr. Ruth Westheimer
c. Opie & Anthony
d. Oprah Winfrey

If you answered (d), that lovable ol' slutbag Oprah Winfrey, then you guessed correctly. Just in time for February's sweeps, the darker shade of media mogul broke out the big guns, interviewing sex-addicted women who've had as many as 90 partners.

One woman, Jennifer, had this to say about a recent one-night stand: "I was at a cafe, and there was a guy there that I just decided that I wanted to have. Kind of like you walk into a bakery shop and you see an eclair, and that's the one you want."

How very Freudian, young lady. I'm thinkin' between the eclair and the one-nighter in question, this chick ended up with a ton of custardy goo all over her face. Yahtzee.

Slack Link of the Day: Speaking of famous black people, Dorsey and El Cantor sent me this the other day, and I laughed so hard I forgot to post it (or something like that). It's called "Top 10 Niggas in Sports Today" and it features one helluva great chart.

Slack News of the Day: I have no idea how I missed this story, nor how everyone I know spaced, but aparently Kevin Smith is coming out with a sequel to the always-hilarious Clerks. Our friend J$ over at Velvet Sea has the scoop and the trailer -- though there's no truth to the rumor they replaced the old Dante with Ricky Gervais.

Slack Song and Video of the Day: I've got friends who absolutely worship and adore Pavement's resident genius Stephen Malkmus. So this is mainly for the Malkmus fans out there, a cool-ass video of his song Baby C'mon.

Lastly, is this Match.com listing real or not real? Ladies, get on this. You'll love a first date on the 7 train, getting batteries tossed at your skull. Hey, beats a ffirst-class skullfucking.

10 Comments:

At 10:33 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Apparently, John Rocker likes 8-foot tall women. Which is cool if you're into that sort of thing.

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger dhodge said...

C'mon Oprah, if you wanted to do a show about "sex addiction", couldn't you have found some more compelling examples of this affliction. As many as 90 sex partners? I'm in no danger of hitting that mark (I guess I'm not a sex addict), but that was basically a slow weekend for Wilt the Stilt.

 
At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ace,
Have you essentially turned into a nexis point for articles on Drudge,espn and music reviews?

Got anything new?

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I don't get it.

 
At 12:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All we've been seeing lately are stories that come from drudge and espn and then your commentary on them, with a few music reviews mixed in.

Let's mix it up.

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I've been going back and forth between two retorts here:

1. I disagree. That's correct. Circle gets a square. Shadoe Stevens to block.

2. "You're wrong about the beards, sir."

I like either one, but I think the point here really is, eat shit.

Seriously, though, because I'm a man of the people, I'll ask you: Mix it up with what? According to you, I've been posting, sports, news and music -- what else is there? Backgammon? Quilting? Crapping on your mom's tits?

Like a Coffee Talk watcher, gimme a topic to talk about.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Anonymous has just started a battle that he/she is definitely going to lose. I wholeheartedly disagree this person who doesn;t have the balls to state his or her own name, whether real or made up.

Here's a topic: The New Deal. It wasn't new and it wasn't a deal. Discuss.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Mr. Underhill said...

Anonymous is probably just trying to get people to read his Chewlies blog instead, like the Cancer Merchant rabblerouser in Clerks.
Rabblerouser. Great word.

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

Ace,
Don't listen to anonymous. That shit is gold.

Plus, he sounds like the kind of guy who is just pissed because he got herpes.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Thanks for the back-up...and the herpes, gents.

I try to engage the insurgents. This was my Fallujah.

 

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