Monday, February 27, 2006

Like a Re-stitched Virgin

Prepare to read the strangest article you'll see this week:

"When Jeanette Yarborough decided to give her husband a gift for their seventeenth wedding anniversary she wanted it to be special. Really special. She decided that conventional treats such as Mediterranean cruises, gold watches, cars, a murder-mystery weekend, or even a boob job just weren’t going to cut it. She gave him something much more personal — and painful. Her virginity.

"Mrs. Yarborough paid $5,000 to a cosmetic surgeon to stitch her hymen back together so she could 'lose her virginity' all over again...

"'Now my sister is thinking of becoming a virgin again for her 45th birthday to surprise her husband.'"

I am speechless. I am without speech.

15 Comments:

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

As a wedding present for Irene, I plan on reattaching my foreskin. Love!

 
At 2:38 PM, Blogger DennyAlias said...

Fiedler- as a present for the Chelsea community at-large, you should look into the rejuvenation procedure for your ass.

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

That's beautiful donny. I knew I shouldn't have let the doctor throw mine away.

I've actually heard a lot of Muslim women have that surgery because Muslim men won't marry women who ar not virgins.

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Hoooo, snap, girlfriend...no you di-in't.

Denny Alias, wreckin' shit! I hope someone took the prop bet, Vegas had 150-1 odds both Alias brothers would post a comment on Slack in the same day.

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger DennyAlias said...

I dont know why kenny does that.

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

Does what?

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger MDS said...

Tell her about the shoving.

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Trix said...

Wait...since when is a blowjob not good enough?

 
At 3:01 PM, Anonymous HANDSTAND said...

Wait, its not really Kenny and Denny is it?

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

You would have to ask our dad, Tommy Alias.

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

You mean your dad Renny?

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger the belligerent intellectual said...

What's worse: getting $5,000 to perform the surgery or getting paid nothing to have to have sex with her?

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

Actually Ace, you would have to ask this guy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Orbach

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

5k? I could have done it for $10 and a can of spray foam.

Lord, now we'll hear from the old bitter hags about why it's always a woman who has to go to extremes to please her man. I can see this blowing up big time.

 
At 7:28 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

I would rather have her sew her mouth shut than her vagina shut. As a matter of fact, I think I just figured out what wedding present I am getting my fiancee.

 

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