Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Trump & Porn (Minus Trump)

Two quickies this morning, and considering the second part is about sex, the word quickie is truly apropos:

First, you really have to love The Donald. This guy is so pissed off at his supposed friend Martha Stewart for royally fucking up his Apprentice brand that he fired off a nasty open letter to the ol' broad, calling her show a "mistake for everybody."

He opens: "Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it -- and your low ratings bore me out."

Not flattering, but then he hits her hard: "Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone." As Uncle Jesse used to quote, "Ouch, babe. Very ouch."

A few years back I worked with a guy who was pretty tight with Martha. And by tight, I mean he regularly stuck it in her number one- and two-holes. I'm not much for gossip, but I just love the idea of this prim and proper domestic diva screaming with pleasure as a Viagra-induced bone ripped through her sphincter. Sorry, that's gross, even for this irreverent duder.

But it's a perfect segue to the recent sex scandal tearing through the blog world (is there a "tearing through Martha's anus" joke here?), a scandal flying under the radar of about 99 percent of the general public. That's yet another reason why being a blogger is cooler than most people believe.

(Ir)Regardless, as the story goes, two Singaporeans, perhaps students at a school there, filmed themselves enjoying a coitus-filled afternoon. Some girl, jealous of the video star's cheerleading popularity, stole her phone and found the clips of this tryst, and she immediately uploaded them onto the Internet.

This girl is basically the new Paris Hilton of the Far East, only she's not rich and likely underage. Also, she gives better much head and love you long time. Rumors are circulating that the whole "Tammy NYP" saga is a publicity hoax for a soon-to-be-released porn video, but I don't think that's the case. The video is just too...amateur.

But if you've been in the dark for the last few days, check out the original story that's floating around the world wide web, and click around in Technorati to try and find the video (I won't post any links to the video here, but they're out there).

I hesitate to call them victims, but the rules of sex are so ridiculous in Singapore that the dude can go to jail for this. And then we'll really have some "tearing through anus" jokes.

Slack Link of the Day: Move over Lou Gehrig, this guy might just be the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

Slack Songs of the Day: Remember last Sunday's Phil & Friends show with Trey, the one I missed for no good reason whatsoever (even the 27 inches of snow)? Sure you do, it caused a slight case of depression in me for a full day. Anyway, it's up on SugarMegs, and it sounds spectacular. Enjoy it here.

5 Comments:

At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will tear out your sphincter in NHLPA 93.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger Trix said...

You see, that's the very reason why I post "half nekkid" pictures of myself. If someone were to put anything on the web like that about me (and, I'm not saying there is anything like that out there-that you know of), the response would be, "Eh. Whatever. I've already seen her ass."

 
At 2:59 PM, Blogger MDS said...

Trix, how often are you going to be changing the photo that goes alongside your comments? I preferred the previous one, and I'm confident that I'm in the majority.

Ace, do you have any Slack LaLane written standards on when you'll post links and when you won't, or do you take it on a case-by-case basis? And was it the age of the female in question that caused you to pass on this one?

 
At 3:06 PM, Blogger Gypsy Rose said...

Just trying to plan your day, MDS?

 
At 4:11 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

To answer your question, MDS, Slack LaLane has no standards.

For real, though, it's definitely a case-by-case thing. This time it was indeed an age thing. Watching underage porn and publishing it are two totally different animals in my book. One's awesome, one's deplorable.

 

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