Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I'm With Sykes

Like the one-armed man that killed Dr. Richard Kimble's wife, I'm off to Cancun for a fishing junket. Only there probably won't be much fishing. And I'll probably only use a boat if I land myself in a precarious Hollowayan position. Either way, Cancun awaits.

"Look, a year ago some people came to see me. They asked me questions about the night of the murder and I'll tell you the same thing I told them. I wasn't even in town then. I was on a business trip."

Strangely, this isn't a pleasure trip. I'll be working while I'm there, so my limited Internet access will likely be business-related, and my procrastination will hopefully be pool-related, not computer-related. Point being(-related), there'll be minimal postage over these next few days. If you really need a fun place to procrastinate, I suggest sending everyone you know one of these here Monk-e-mails. Classic.

Reruns: In a perfect world, Donnie Fiedler would fill the void with his hilarious anecdotes and jerkstore wit. I've been trying to entice his return to Slack for some time, but maybe he'll step up because he knows how much I love fresh content. Content, I've been swimming in raw sewage, and I love it.

Anyway, check out some ol' Feedbags material: Law School People Suck Like Frist, Tube (Try It with Music), L, and Boobish Names. That guy was truly funny before he died from a combination of tuberculosis and a tomahawk to the head.

And on the rerun tip, if for some reason you've never read the "Top Notch Slackin'" from the right-hand toolbar >>>, now would be as good a time as any. I recommend CDs Nuts, but feel free to poke around on your own. Also, don't forget to check out the other bloggers in that column -- most of them are funny as pie.

Slack Google Searches of the Day: I just love this stuff...
  • uncle touched my boobs stories -- I'm a bigger fan of uncle touched my boobs limericks, but we're all entitled to a good story every now and then.
  • Bea Arthur is a dude -- That's right.
  • horsecock -- That's also correct.
  • show me Wade Miller -- I loved this one because it makes me unable to decide which pop culture reference to drop here, Jerry Maguire or Family Feud. I like the latter best -- "Show me po-ta-to saaaalaaaaad."
Slack Link of the Day: Ladies and gentlemen, your hard-earned tax dollars at work -- "Earlier this month, [Fairfax County] agreed to participate in a White House pilot program to analyze wastewater from communities throughout the Potomac River Basin for the urinary byproducts of cocaine." [more]

Slack Video of the Day
: I'd say I've never seen a kid so excited to get a Christmas present, but that'd just be a lie. This little tyke's reaction to unearthing his holiday surprise is basically a carbon copy of my sheer jubilation when I learned a crippling late-December transit strike would mean a few days on the home couch for me.

Slack YouTube of the Day: Knowing my undying love for Bottle Rocket, Matty Mac forwarded this video to me this morning. It's very similar to those funky, revisionist trailers for The Shining and Sleepless in Seattle, only much cooler because it's Dignan.

Slack Song of the Day: Even if I do drop in a post or two from el Mejico, I doubt any music will come along with it. So allow me to keep you satiated for a while with a handful of SugarMegs shows...

Jaco Pastorius and Herbie Hancock -- 2/16/77
Janis Joplin -- 7/6/70
The Kinks -- 11/13/70
Little Feat -- 12/4/75
Phish -- 12/30/97 @ Madison Square Garden

Allright, Slackers, enjoy your week in the sun...


At 12:27 PM, Blogger Momentary Academic said...

Have fun, Mr. Cowboy.

At 12:59 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Have a good trip, amigo. I miss Mexico so.

That Family Feud strategy would have been great for a baseball preview. Maybe next year...

"Show me...Aaron Harang's 7.50 ERA!"

"Show me...Kenny Lofton's crack pipe!"

At 3:54 PM, Blogger macky chan said...

Let me get this straight..."County workers collected five days' worth of water samples between March 13 and March 17 at the pollution control plant in Lorton, according to a March 20 memo from County Executive Anthony H. Griffin to the Board of Supervisors.

The plant, which processes about 67 million gallons of sewage a day, takes in commercial and residential waste from about half the county, including Fairfax City, Vienna and Fort Belvoir.

The samples, which totaled about 500 milliliters, were shipped to the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology in Rockville, where they will be analyzed..."

Five days by 67 million gallons and these guys come up with two cups of piss water...keep up the good work!

At 4:32 PM, Blogger the belligerent intellectual said...

Have fun man. Bring my back a housekeeper.

At 5:05 PM, Blogger Jason said...

Have a great trip. Don't do like I did and allow guest bloggers to contribute while you're gone. They leave a mess and don't clean up after themselves afterwards.

At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:20 PM, Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Hope you enjoy your trip! I heard fishing in Cancun is awesome, because whatever you catch they got guys to fry it up for you on the spot when you get ashore. I need a vacation like nobody's business, so take one for me!


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