Sunday, March 26, 2006

My Own Open Letter to a Faux Redneck

I call this one, "It Took Awhile, But I Finally Got'r Done."

Dear Larry the Cable Guy,

I've completed your assigned task. Thanks for all your encouragement, but please consider the matter done. Leave me and my family alone.

Go away forever,
A. Cowboy

P.S. As long as you use the words "Hillary Clinton" and "balls" or "testicles" in the same sentence -- like in your act -- this movie's gonna git'r dun to the tune of nine figures. You're a genius.

P.P.S. In the interests of full disclosure, I'm already aware of one such Munich-style assassination campaign against anyone who actually pays money to see your movie and all their blood relatives. There may even be several more in the works. Just givin' youse the heads up.


At 9:47 AM, Blogger kyle said...

If you haven't seen it, you should read the long open letter written by David Cross on the subject. I thought it was pretty funny.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Yes yes, Kyle...I am aware of this, which is why I called this "My Own Open Letter..."

And, in fact, if you click on the title of this post, it takes you to the David Cross letter. I didn't feel like writing 3,000 words, I went much simpler.

At 11:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been working on it for a while, but I have not quite gott'en r' done yet. Should be any day now.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

I hear ya anonymous, I thought I had gotten r' done, but then it turned out that I found a small portion of r' that I had failed to git done.

At 12:48 AM, Blogger Boski93 said...

Mr. Cowboy,

Could you also please ask Mr, Cable Guy that he can now go fuck himself, now. Please be clear with him, that means himself. He is not to make sweet sweet love to a member of his immediate family schrub.

P.S. Also please congratulate him on making the Ernest Goes Series look like Ingmar freaking Bergman

P.P.S. I do not have much time this week, but I will be more than happy to go all Massad on those who watched this visual hate crime.


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