Thursday, March 02, 2006

Saw the Ghost of Elvis...

The madness continues. First the Virgin Mary visits one side of a grilled cheese sam'ich (one for three, two for five). Then she camps out in a grease stain on the wall of a Chicago underpass.

Fuck this Godly shit, that's small potatoes. All that matters is The King: A northern California woman "was looking up an Office Depot rebate receipt when she discovered the ghostly image of the King strangely manifested on the receipt itself."

I can live in a world where Elvis crumples up the receipt, mistakes it for some quality speed and ingests it along with several others. But unless you're trippin' equal-to-elvis balls, there ain't no Kang on that paper, lady. I don't want to live in your world. Actually, it really does look just like him. I'm totally on board.

And speaking of drugs, I just realized today's the one-year anniversary of my incredibly morbid prediction that Barry Bonds will die of steroid-related heart failure before breaking Hank Aaron's homerun record. Some of the stats are a bit off -- we've played a season since its original posting -- but I think it still flies. Folks, Imagine That.

(Thanks to en regalia for the heads up on this one...I should also give "mad props," as the kids say, to Slackfriend EB, who actually broke the Virgin Mary grilled cheese story nationally, taking it from a strictly local phenomenom to a ubiquitous punchline. True story.)


At 3:29 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Grilled Cheese...Sammy Smiths...two for five!

Good times. I miss those days.

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Marc Cohn would be so proud. Even after being shot in the face.

At 5:46 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

Who's got my veggie burrito??

At 5:51 PM, Blogger MDS said...

Ace, I think you drastically overstate the negative health side effects of steroids. Do you think steroids are more dangerous than the substances you've promoted on this here blog, starting with cigarettes?

At 5:52 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

oh boy. mds, you drastically underestimate the reams of statistics and "you may have a point's" that ace will throw at this.

At 8:06 PM, Blogger ahren said...

barry bonds is the greatest player to ever walk earth. his achievements, career, and the appreciation thereof represent more than just a figure in baseball history-- they are a triumph of refined reason over muddled traditionalism. they represent all that is great about our generation, and offer proof that "new" will always eventually defeat "old."

the day he passes aaron will be one of the most enjoyable sports moments of my lifetime, and if some disaster were to prevent it, i, for one, would be devastated.
(i'll be posting a much more long-winded elaboration on this theme in the next couple days, if you want to really be bored for 20 minutes)

At 11:06 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I actually like Bonds...and I'm rooting for him to break the record. I never liked Hank Aaron, fuckin' reverse racist.

Oh, and I don't do drugs. it's just a character. Drugs are bad.


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