Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Shut'r Down, Dave

Any blogger worth his weight in ego checks the Sitemeter early and often. Yesterday I came across a fun-loving Google search from the German version of the site, looking for "Brendon Tartikoff."

When I started Slack LaLane, I always dreamed I'd have the second-highest search ranking for the former NBC president on Germany's Google engine. That dream hath finally been realized.

In the process of matching up the odd search with the archived Slack post, I stumbled upon the source. Apparently I referenced him in this August 20, 2004 post about Charlie Murphy, Ashy Larry and a token white friend of Chappelle's coming to my place of business.

Upon re-reading that post, I realized that I actually, factually predicted Chappelle's downfall almost a full year before he flew to Africa in late April of 2005. In the above post, I worried that the show would suffer from one or all of three factors. The first? "Chappelle pulling a sports free agent move and performing Operation Shutdown after signing a huge deal (see Bartolo Colon and Twinkies)."

And shut down, he did. Kudos bar to me. So if you're counting at home, I thought the Jets would win the Super Bowl this year and my NCAA Tournament picks are about as useless as my penis after a few tequila shots, but I did predict Shawn Chacon was going to be a good Yankee and Chappelle would somehow fuck up that ludicrous $50 million contract. I think I'm about even.

Here are some other great Google and Yahoo! searches that brought folks on over to this online rag we call home:

--tea motherfucker tea rap parody chronicles of narnia rap
--john 3:16 sporting events
--ashlee simpson sex tape downloads
--I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet
--Howie Mandel's daughter
--"Get your damns hands off her"
--mother goose hit on the head with a bible
--It's bush league psyche-out stuff.

Awesome stuff. I especially like the person who made it here looking for Howie Mandel's daughter. That's clearly a pedophile, considering she was featured on Monday's Deal or No Deal. Sorry, dude, no shirtless photos of Howie's daughter here. I can offer you this story about his "estranged daughter" though, from the comments section of a 6/22/04 25th birthday post:

"Howie Mandel's estranged daughter, that story is not a joke...this chick, with a straight face and in all seriousness, tried to convince [TJ in OH] and I that she was Howie Mandel's estranged daughter, and he was a prick or something like that. It was difficult, if not impossible, to hold back the laughter...especially since we'd been to Lechter's Housewares for some whip cream catridges earlier that day."

Slack Link of the Day: Surveillance cameras in New York City? Well, there goes any chance of hittin' a bowl on the street.

Slack Video of the Day: I'm not trying to cram my favorites down your throat, but the JamCam Chronicles released an early copy of Tea Leaf Green playing Warmup > Freedom (via JamBase) at last summer's Wakarusa Festival. I think it's really well-shot and the sound is fantastic, so I figured I'd post it in contrast to the shitty shots we took at the Knit shows earlier this month.

Slack Song of the Day: If you haven't been scrolling through the SugarMegs archives and streaming shows in your oodles of free time, then we can never be friends. I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

If we're still pals, then I offer you this gift of friendship: Rick Danko and Levon Helm from the the Starry Night Club in Portland, Oregon on 1/23/83. This may or may not be your speed, and it's not the greatest show ever, but I recommend it as highly as anything I've ever posted in this here space.


At 12:55 PM, Blogger MDS said...

I'll never forget the day in August of 1997 when a co-worker at my college paper came up to me with a somber look on her face and said, "Brandon Tartikoff died." I mean, yeah, I appreciate the guy who brought L.A. Law, Family Ties, The Cosby Show and Cheers into my living room, but she looked like she was about to break down or something.

At 1:01 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I think she was a bigger fan of his cameo on Saved By the Bell.

There's no hope with dope.

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

"Get your damns hands off her" - Awesome.

I find it even more awesome coming two day after asked me to give Biff Tannen his sports almanac back to him (after I called the Bradley upsets) and to stay away from Lorraine.

How many B2TF refrences can I get hear this week? Hopefully many more. Because they are all sweet.

At 3:48 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

Tartikoff seems to be a lot more well-known than most other former, current, and future network TV presidents, dead or alive. Was it because of the SBTB cameo or did his fame come from a different source? FWIW, I don't think I would've known who he was had he never made that cameo.


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