Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Uncle Ace

As a good friend reminded me this weekend, there's nothing like reaping some of the benefits of parenthood without any of the responsibilities. That's Uncle Ace's new motto.

"My uncle couldn't shave today? What an asshole." --Kid Cowboy


After 13 hours of sitting around the hospital's waiting room, we finally got to celebrate the birth of the beautiful baby boy that Red and Ess Cowboy created 40 weeks earlier. At 3:15 on Saturday night/Sunday morning, all seven pounds and 15 ounces of adorable cuteness entered the world, prompting Ace to inquire, "Wait, there are 16 ounces in a pound? That's some fucked up repugnant shit."

Even more unbelievable than my lack of knowledge in the weights and measures category, Ess Cowboy actually delivered on her due date. That's just cool shit, no? If I were her, and someone tried to one-up one of my stories, I'd fire back with "Well I delivered a baby on the exact day they predicted. Eat that shit, turdlicker. Oh yeah, and I heard you were adopted."

So as every single person in history says after the birth of a newborn, "Mother and baby are doing well!" All gifts should be sent directly to me -- apparently I need a new razor. That joke never gets old, Dad.

11 Comments:

At 4:57 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Do they usually remove the horns that soon after birth?

(too soon?)

 
At 5:03 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Tip of the penis, eight days. The horns, they rip those fuckers off right away. You can get 'em back if you move to Hollywood, though.

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Kenny Alias said...

Cute kid. Looks baked though.

 
At 5:26 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I'm the Midas of Doje.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger abby said...

Congratulations, Ace! What a great picture. He looks adorable, and he'll only get cuter. Enjoy.

 
At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Red Hair? Ace - Mazol Tov on becoming a man, I mean Uncle! Nothing better..

Fluff

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger ScuffyMcgee said...

Hey Ace,

Does this mean that my mom is now a grandfather?

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Trix said...

Cograts, Uncle Ace.

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Thanks everybody for the warm wishes...the Cowboy family is truly appreciative of all this positive sentiment.

Yes, a redhead. Red and Ess Cowboy both being redheads, I think the milkman would be shot dead if the kid turned out to be anything but.

Scuffy, you know it.

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger Jason said...

Congratulations, man. As a proud uncle of two adorable little boys (4 years and 10 months), I concur - there's nothing better than holding them, making cute faces at them, making them laugh...and then quickly handing them back when they take a crap in their pants.

 
At 6:30 PM, Blogger ethan said...

using their ears as bottle openers and handing them back when they start crying is pretty great too.

 

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