Thursday, April 20, 2006

4/20, Duuuude

I really dislike the 4/20 thing. And the 4:20 thing. And the "420" thing, like at the end of a screen name or on a street sign. I find it wrong and ridiculous.

Sure, when I was 16, maybe even 18, when April 20th rolled around everyone knew it was time to "get toootally baked, brah." Sometimes we'd even intentionally "smoke a phat bowl" at 4:20 every day, "'cuz that's when everyone else is tokin' too, maaan." And sometimes we even smoked at 5:20, "because kids in Chicago are one-hundreeed percent doin' a jay right now, duuude."

But when people started celebrating an unofficial national holiday on April 20th, that's when I threw in my resin-coated towel, or more accurately, when I stopped using it under my door as a smoke-stopper. Part of me's glad those Columbine fuckers chose today of all days, just to bring everyone down a bit. Nothing says "Whoooa, that totally fucked up my high" more than a moment of silence for tragically lost youth. And it's Hitler's birthday.

Don't get me wrong, I love pot culture, and I enjoy talking about marijuana and marijuana-related activities. I constantly leaf through Reefer Madness and spread the gospel of its author Eric Schlosser. My favorite expression is "the pot calling the kettle black." I consider Half Baked one of the more underrated movies of the '90s and Dazed & Confused a classic. My all-time favorite wrestler is Rob Van Dam because he's known to smoke a bunch, and because he' s awesome.

I'd even categorize my sense of humor as "intellectual stoner comedy" (well, with "comedy" used very loosely). But that doesn't mean I need to set aside a day, or a specific time of day, to get high and make it public. It's kinda low class. Act like you've been there before, right? I mean, every day is April 20th, isn't it?

So instead of the 4/20 love today, let us instead celebrate National High Five Day*. 'Cuz there ain't no better day to use the high five than today. So when someone asks you to smoke with them, just give 'em a high fiver, punch them in the cock and walk your separate ways.

*Believe it or not, this thing's the brainchild of the wicked smaht kid who put together that RBI Baseball Game 6 re-enactment, so it's been a whirlwind few weeks for him.

Slack Link of the Day: This might be my favorite Drudge headline of all-time: "Phony doctor, 76, busted for door-to-door breast exams..."

Slack Video of the Day: Average Homeboy, nuff said.

Slack Song of the Day: It's the 6th Annual Jammy Awards tonight (aka the Patchouli Grammys), and I'm pretty pumped. The lineup ain't what it was in year's past, but the mash-ups are usually much better than expected and provide great moments. Here's last year's Slack review, plus links to the entire show: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV.

Part II is my favorite: Umphrey's McGee with Huey, Mavis & Sinead O'Connor, then a great bass n drums gig with Keller and ?uestlove. Part III has some highlights as well, including three of the greatest living bassists -- Phil, Cactus and Les -- all on stage at the same time.


At 10:29 AM, Blogger ethan said...

average homeboy. love the yankees uni and the sweet reverse layup.

and don't hate y'all, his exterminator is...a can of raid.

At 11:23 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

That's gotta be a joke, right? That mullet is worth the price of admission alone...

At 11:38 AM, Blogger ethan said...

during the interview before the "video" i couldn't tell if that was hair or a shadow (obviously rooting for hair). once the video started and the mullet was waving i was very satisfied.

what year do you think that came from? '88?

At 11:52 AM, Blogger rob ronanea said...


At 11:54 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

I heard someone threw an inflatable syringe at the Chinese premier today at the White House, further fueling the controversy that the Great Wall has been using steroids. If you look at pictures from 10 years ago, the wall was little more than a picket fence. Now, come on, its present-day girth is so obviously unnatural. Just look at the size of the evenly-distrubted sentry towers. A 2,000 year old wall should not bulge like that.

At 2:26 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Today is also either Barney Gumball's or Marge's birthday, too. Maybe both. I can't remember.

At 2:32 PM, Anonymous JMoney said...

d00d its 4/20 chill out breaugh.

At 4:08 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Heady, J$, heady.

At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Kevin said...

I got a few happy 4/20's today. It kind of irritated me....or am I still 16?


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