Wednesday, April 19, 2006

My Teams Stink

Last night was a hockey night, with seven of the eight seeds in the Eastern Conference up for grabs and three teams fighting for the Patrick Atlantic Division crown. The Rangers blew goats (I have proof), but the race itself superceded fan allegiance for the night.

But speaking of a team that stunk it up last night, one beisbol note of import broke through the icy wall yesterday, and it's a doozy concerning Blue Jays pitcher Gustavo Chacin. The specs-sporting southpaw has something no other major leaguer has, something both the Rangers and Yankums need right now: his own brand of cologne, cleverly titled Chacin Cologne.

If I were covering this story, I'd start it one of two ways. First, let's take a look at the benign, punny lede:

Giving new meaning to making players "whiff," Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Gustavo Chacin is about to debut his own brand of cologne.

And now for the Dorsey Levin "Is this racist?" version:

Giving new meaning to the phrase "Puerto Rican Shower," Blue Jays pitcher Gustavo Chacin is about to debut his own brand of cologne.

Yes, yes it is. But it's also pretty funny. Score one for the roommate.

Slack Link of the Day: Grace, get me Vicente Fox on the phone. I want to read him this ludicrous AP article about how Mexico treats its migrants like dogshit, including shooting them where they stand. Seriously, if you think the United States has wronged the illegal immigrant population here in any way (which would be a foolish thought), make sure to click that link. Where'd I get this article? The mailman...his body's decomposing in my lockerrrrr.

Slack Video of the Day: I'd love to take off today and catch the first leg of the Arsenal v. Villareal Champion's League semifinal, but it's gonna be a busy day here. In honor of the game, here's an absolutely sick goal from the best scorer in the world, Arsenal's Thierry Henry.

Slack Song of the Day: I plan on seeing Grace Potter & The Nocturnals on Friday as part of the Green Apple Music Fest, and I'm pretty excited about that prospect. This chick's got pipes, she gots the blues, and her band is solid. I'm diggin' on a tune called Gumbo Moon right now, but this whole Live Oh Five album sounds perfecto. Check it out here at

And Happy 31st Birthday to Red the man.


At 11:13 AM, Blogger offpeak34 said...

On the topic of sports and teams looks more and more like Houston is going to pass on Reggie Bush...can you say Reggie Bush to the Jets? It could happen!

At 11:26 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Come to the Red Lion in the West Village for a "Friends of Ace Watch Soccer" meeting...where we'll watch soccer in the shadow of Ace's apartment building. 2:45. Be there and square.

I'll be wearing the no pants.

At 11:30 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Goddamn work. I wish I could be part of that Friends of Ace Watch Soccer crew. Ain't happening today.

Eh, I think the Reggie Bush to the Jets rumors are greatly exaggerated. We'll see come Saturday, but I'd love to see D'Brickashaw in the house. He's the only top five pick I'm in love with. I like him like him.

At 12:54 PM, Blogger ethan said...

what is it about toronto and tampa bay that the unit can't deal with? good thing eduardo perez is no longer in the al east...

At 2:18 PM, Blogger MDS said...

The Jets fans will boo mercilessly if it's anyone other than Bush or Leinart, but I'm with you, Ace. D'Brickashaw would be an excellent choice. And there's no way Bush slips to No. 4. I suppose it's possible that the Texans will pass on Bush and then the Jets will move up to No. 2 and take him, but that's remote. I think the only way the Texans pass on Bush is if his agent says he won't sign for anything less than $30 million guaranteed and Mario Williams' agent says he'll take $20 million.

At 2:23 PM, Blogger rob ronanea said...

grace potter is the best! she's also beautiful. but rumor has it that she's dating her drummer now. BOOOOOO

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I just read that the Jets may take Laurence Maroney with their late first-round pick. If that's true, I'll be a happy man. I think he's gonna be the stud back out of this draft. Mark those palabras. If we can get D'Brick and Maroney, that's a serious draft.

As for Bush, the Jets will not get him at #4...I think the spec is that they'll trade up to #1, or maybe #2, but that would be a VERY foolish move by a new GM.

At 9:03 PM, Blogger David said...

Thank god for ESPN Gamecast - It's no streaming video, but it's a good way to "Watch" soccer at work. Decent commentary, good viewing matrix.

Go Arsenal!


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