Thursday, May 04, 2006

Americana: IM & Beisbol

It's no secret Alex Rodriguez has been struggling at the plate, pouting his purple lips in frustration following feeble at-bat after feeble at-bat. But there's no reason to believe this will last all season, and fantasy owners would be wise to chill out and tell that bitch to be cool.

The following is an IM conversation between A-Rod's current owner (I love fantasy leagues, where you get to sound like a chattel-owning slave owner) and me from last night:

ChipotleBob: best offer for a-rod?
acecowboy: pasta salad and a plate of fries
ChipotleBob: done
ChipotleBob: i want ranch though as well
acecowboy: no ranch, that kills the deal
ChipotleBob: sorry...i need ranch for the fries
ChipotleBob: cant make the deal without it
acecowboy: a-rod's not worth it right now
ChipotleBob: no he isnt
acecowboy: hes GARBAGE
ChipotleBob: thats being nice
acecowboy: he's caca (todd, 2000)*
ChipotleBob: fun fact on arod...he's 2 for his last 23
ChipotleBob: dope
acecowboy: he just walked
acecowboy: i'd rather he got hbp
ChipotleBob: of course
ChipotleBob: thats all he does
acecowboy: right in the spine
ChipotleBob: right in the face
ChipotleBob: "in the face"
acecowboy: matsui hit a seeing-eye single the other night when i was at the game...can you blind that ball with dental floss too?

*Two notes here:
1. There was this kid Todd in my fraternity, real good guy, but he tended to get a wee bit overexcitedly animated and would often scream and exaggerate every single word that came out of his mouth. Throughout junior year we tended to think everything was stained with poo, for we were constantly bombarded with shouts of "That's caaaa-caaaa." I still use it to this day.

I love employing the little-used textnote in friendly communication. Sometimes I even utilize the textnote in speech, placing the source and year immediately after my sentence or phrase and making the accompanying parenthesis with my hands. Try it.

That repartee was complemented by this simultaneous baseball conversation with the biggest fanboy Mets fan I know:

snacks: Mets are the most well run organization in sports
snacks: definitely baseball
acecowboy: haha
snacks: Omar Minaya was in the booth for 2 innings
snacks: that man is good.
acecowboy: i actually laughed out loud there (but i'll never say "lol")
snacks: is it "out loud" or "aloud"
acecowboy: "out loud"...otherwise it'd be "la"
acecowboy: "aloud" is a word, though.
snacks: what does it mean?
acecowboy: "out loud"
snacks: so, why both?
acecowboy: verbal variety is the spice of life

Allright, Mets fans, now's the time to make your case...I personally think the Mets aren't even in the top-five best run organization in baseball let alone sports, trailing (in no particular order) the Athletics, White Sox, Injuns, Braves and Royals. Okay, not the Royals, but to call the Mets the "most well-run organization in sports" after one month of positive returns is nothing less than short-term hysteria.

Let's talk when Pedro's toe falls off. You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, dude.


At 4:13 PM, Blogger Snacks said...

As the biggest "fanboy Mets fan" known to Ace, allow me to explain the context of my hyperbole. I was watching Ron Darling and Gary Cohen interview Omar Minaya in the booth during the 2nd and 3rd inning of the Mets/Pirates rain-soaked game last night. While it's certainly the GMs job to shed positive light on his (or her) organization, it's easy when you are the GM of the Metropolitans. Setting aside the fact that they are 18-9 with a 5 game lead in early May. They have all the tools to win a championship this year while maintaining a solid core at the major and minor league level for the future. They somehow managed, with all their offseason moves, to actually reduce their payroll from 2005, ticket sales are at a 20 year high and they are building themselves a new stadium to define the organization for years to come. I'll say it again, in all of sports (definitley baseball), I don't think there is an organization currently in a better situation both on and off the field.

At 5:03 PM, Blogger J$ said...

Mets have been pretty well run ever since the Bobby Bonilla fiasco. Can't do anything about big player injuries. They sort of have to be with the Yanks in town. Like Hertz or Avis or whomever said we're 2 so we try harder. Some pics I took from last nights game:

At 5:26 PM, Blogger ScuffyMcgee said...

Best Run Franchise??? Two words: SCOTT KAZMIR

At 10:08 PM, Blogger John Howard said...

I love the Mets, but I don't see it. Maybe in a couple of years, if they're in the new stadium, or they've won a World Series, and they're still set upw well, you could make an argument. But right now with absolutely no track record as a well run organization (and in fact having been run pretty poorly recently), it's nothing more than speculation.

At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

'll say it again, in all of sports (definitley baseball), I don't think there is an organization currently in a better situation both on and off the field.

wrong answer. ESPN magazine does a poll every year of players and execs. the Detroit Pistons have been in the top 5 of that list the last few years. It covers all sports. The mets JUST got good for the first time in years. Yanks, Spurs, Pistons, Patriots are tops every year. f the mets.

At 1:08 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Snacks, well said, except for this part: "...while maintaining a solid core at the major and minor league level for the future."

As Dorsey pointed out to me, the Mets are 28th of the 30 Major League teams in minor league talent, according to Baseball America. Interestingly, they fell from 10th place just a couple years ago.


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