Thursday, May 25, 2006


It's been a while since I've thrown a batch o' links against the wall and watched which one slinked to the bottom first. Let's do that:

1. "Cate Blanchett will play Bob Dylan in his 'androgenous phase' in a new biopic of the great poet-songwriter's life, it was announced, as Dylan turned 65." Whoa, is Uncle Robert okay with this choice?

I gotta say, if I were still alive and they were making a biopic from my life, I would not be too psyched if the producers called me and said, "Okay, we've got Richard Gere for the older you, Health Ledger for the younger, and oh yeah, the girl from Small Wonder will be playing the role for those somewhat androgenous years." The only way I'd sign off on Cate is if I could give her some notes, things like showing her how I used to get naked and masturbate back in the day. "Now you try it."

(More importantly, how do you pronounce biopic -- is it bio-pick, or bi-op-ic, like myopic? That's an androgenous word, methinks.)

2. Former Mets player and coach Bud Harrelson is a little upset about the plans for a new stadium to replace Shea, but somebody needs to learn'm a little perspective:

"I'm going to miss driving by it when it's gone," he said. "I guess it's like the World Trade Center: Your heart stops when you stop driving and there's just a hole."

Good work, Bud, way to say what we're all thinking. Dude, that place is a fucking shitbox, one of the worst places left to see a game in these entire United States. And since you brought up the analogy, I'd venture to guess the Al Qaeda elites hide out in classier and fancier dives than Shea. But he does bring up a decent point -- just once, instead of demolishing a stadium with good ol' fashioned pyro materials, we should simultaneously fly fueled-up 747s into the sides.

3. Yesterday officially kicked off Fleet Week in Manhattan, which I believe is an amateur comedy festival. It happens every year: For some reason, everyone thinks this is the week to make those horribly unfunny puns about seamen and jokes about "renting a sailor's outfit to get some free 'tang from the ladies."

As a public service announcement, let me say this -- the last time those jokes were funny was the mid- to late-80s. Stop it. You weren't funny before Fleet Week, and you probably won't be after Fleet Week. Don't try it this week. You probably suck at life.

4. Found this one last night with Donnie: A whole page of sports jingles. This site is fucking awesome. How can you not click on that and listen to the NBA on NBC on repeat? You can't.

Slack Anniversary of the Day: Two years ago today marked the only ever date on which the battery in my cellular telephone completely died. Dead. What a sad day in the scheme of things...

Slack Video of the Day: How can you even top the local news broadcast with the gay blind climber that I posted yesterday? Not sure you can, so I'll forfeit today's video and implore you all to watch yesterday's again. At least twice.

Slack Song of the Day: I've done karaoke only twice in my life (not counting the killer performance of Dance to the Music I threw down at Red Cowboy's wedding), and both times I sang Elvis Presley's Suspicious Minds. Great tune, just a fantastic song.

Apparently My Old Kentucky Blog agrees, and it's posted about 25 covers of the Elvis hit, including one from the Fine Young Cannibals that rawks. Check it out. [As recommended by the Live Music Blog]


At 2:13 PM, Blogger Michael said...

One of my favorite bits of trivia, which I hope doesn't ruin your enjoyment: the NBA on NBC theme "Roundball Rock" is a John Tesh composition.

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Oh yes, I'm well aware of Tesh's singwriting abilities, especially when it comes to NBA themes. There's a great Conan clip of Tesh playing Roundball Rock on the show, but alas YouTube doesn't have it.

A giant kudos bar to anyone who finds that and posts it here.

At 5:05 PM, Blogger Mr. Underhill said...

Uncle Robert. Brilliant. 1993?

At 6:06 PM, Blogger Betty said...

I am not really that into fleet week but am joining the lady bloggers tonight so we can ogle undereducated 18 year old boys in sailor costumes- yeah so not into the military boys.

At 7:01 PM, Blogger NewmRadio said...

I'm a bit of a Dylan freak, and I'm all "what androgynous years?!"

At 11:00 PM, Blogger Lons said...

Can't believe that Dylan film overlooked the obvious casting choice of Vincent Price's lifeless corpse. He was BORN to play Bob!

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I kinda thought the same thing, Newm...I mean, a Bowie movie, sure, but Dylan kinda always looked the same, til he came out at The Last Waltz with a perm and a fedora. All he was missing was the tag sticking up that said "Press" in it.

Vincent Price, hilarity!


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