Monday, June 12, 2006

Notes d' Rando

Five random thoughts while the Italy/Ghana game gets underway:

--Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger suffered a serious head injury that required surgery after a motorcycle accident in Pittsburgh today. The AP managed to slip this sentence into the seventh graf of its article on the accident: "Steelers backup quarterback Charlie Batch was at the emergency room. He had no comment."

Mayhaps he had no official comment for the writer, but I bet Batch was thinking "I wonder if they can trace that car's registration back to my Uncle Freddy." And if indeed Batch was the driver, I say kudos bar to him for finally hitting a target in stride.

I thought it weird the AP chose this picture for its article. I think most people forget that Big Ben, a Heisman candidate, drove the ESU Timberwolves to the championship in 1993 while riding a cool bike.

--Speaking of the Associated Press, I saw these two AP headlines last week and thought someone needed to juxtapose them: "Bush Says Immigrants Must Learn English" and "Bush Says Deportation 'Ain't Gonna Work'." As a famous skit by The State once advised us about wearing pants, the president should take some of his own advice.

--Al Qaeda in Iraq has named a successor to lead shithead Abu Musab Al Zarqawi. A signed statement posted on a terrorist website today said "The shura council of al Qaeda in Iraq unanimously agreed on Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Muhajir..."

Do you think Rumsfeld and Bush are more upset that the head has re-generated on the Iraq Qaeda body or that the new leader's name is another one they can't possibly pronounce correctly? "Abu, er, Abu Hamzu, ah fuck it, man, can't we just go back to fightin' some white people? The Czechs just whipped us good, let's carpet-bomb the shit outta Prague. Get 'r done."

--Welcome to fuckin' Deadwood. Season Three, the last full slate of episodes before a four-hour finale of sorts. I've got nothing of import to add here, but this was easily the highlight of my weekend.

NHL and NBA Finals, six World Cup matches, the return of Entourage and a good rooftop party, but nothing holds a candle to Al Swearengen staring at me in my living room again. If you're not watching this show, you're wrong. So very wrong. So if you missed last night's season premiere, hit up On Demand and get involved. Cocksucker.

--From the Get To Know Your Blogger File: I'm a scatter-brained moron most of the time. My mouth often can't catch up with my thoughts, and it's not rare that I'll blurt out something I'm clearly not thinking. The latest example of this came Saturday, when discussing The Sopranos finale I said "Johnny Sack had a hurricane" instead of "Phil Leotardo had a heart attack." Johnny Sack had a hurricane? I think it's time to lay off the pipe.

Slack Video of the Day: I was reminded this afternoon about my level of displeasure with that d-bottle Jim Rome. As such, let's watch the clip of that time Jim Everett tossed Rome's table to the side and knocked him to the ground for calling him "Chris." Hooray, Jim.

Slack Song of the Day: Radiohead from Chronto, Ontario: Go get 'em.


At 3:22 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Apparently WEEI in Boston is reporting that Big Ben has lost the "majority" of his teeth, broke his jaw, severely damaged his knees, has a 9+ inch laceration on his face and fractured his sinus cavity. Fucking yikes.

I think I just heard Philly fans cheering.

At 4:03 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Apparently Big Ben has dandruff, cuz his head and shoulders were all over that car's windshield.

That's a recycled lame joke. I apologize. I just got back from vacation, sue me.

At 4:05 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Goodbye Harley Davidson endorsement, but hello Geico endorsement.

At 4:06 PM, Blogger ethan said...

i heard somewhere along the line that the rome-everett thing was staged. it's classic nonetheless, but tainted a bit for me.

At 5:59 PM, Anonymous okaycantor said...

philly fans are not cheering over, if he were a qb in the nfc...

At 6:38 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Oh, see, I thought Philly fans were so callous they cheered everyone's injuries, regardless of the relation to the city or team. Just the other day I saw a random guy fall down the stairs and break his neck, and I could have sworn I heard faint pointed laughter coming from the City of Brotherly Schaudenfraude.

At 7:08 PM, Blogger Mr. Underhill said...

So you went Schadenfaude, huh? I'll go with Kopfageschlagen then.

At 7:29 PM, Blogger Boski93 said...

Well, I think Kelen Winslow Jr. may have found someone to take the heat off of him.

Does this mean he going to go off the reservation that Bussey?

Isn't the Vet where Santa was booed?

Bush fail English, that unpossible?

At 12:04 AM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Wow. Underhill dropped a Soapdish reference. Is that as obscure as I think it is? They say Philly fans are rude because they once threw batteries at Santa, and because they cheer injuries, snd they smell bad, but you know how Ben lost most of his teeth? Just see if he gets any tooth fairy money. No way.

Know why? Some Philly fans and a Sears Die-Hard got to her first.


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