Friday, July 14, 2006

ESPN & Make-A-Wish

I've been thinking about this for a few days, and I feel like now's the time to unleash this schmaltzy thought: Anyone else think it'd fucking suck to be a famous athlete and be forced to hang out with retards and dying kids? Really makes me glad I'm not a big-time sports star.

8 Comments:

At 2:28 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

In all seriousness, they are indeed amazing segments...and they tug at the heartstrings like all good human interest stories should. Very well-packaged and well-produced, no doubt.

But this is an advantageous ratings grab, pure and simple. Maybe this is stating the obvious, maybe it isn't, but this whole Make a Wish week is a direct result of the J-Mac Autistic Hoopster viral video.

I have zero doubt that ESPN saw the unbelievable traction of that story and sat around a board room eating overpriced sandwiches when an overpaid exec said, "Hey, what if we profiled more 'special needs' kids, only this time we make it our own?"

And that's The Truth, Dave Grippo-style.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Cause I mean Todd Helton had to be thinking, "I'm watching this 'tart hit a ball 2 feet off a tee when I could be getting a serious blowjob?"

 
At 3:51 PM, Blogger Murph said...

Retarded people make me uncomfortable. I never know how condescending I should be. I'm obviously smarter and better than them, but exactly how much better? I'd rather just sweep them under the rug so that I don't have to deal with tough questions like that.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Jason Mulgrew said...

Todd Helton is very religious, so I don't think he'd mind having out with the chubby 'tard.

In addition to being very religious, he's also on on-base machine, but is not exactly helping my team with his lack of power. Fucking asshole.

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Even in a wheelchair pushed by a former SEC football player, that kid could not jar the ball loose from the catcher. Poor form, Wheels. Pete Rose cried a little watching SportsCenter this morning.

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I like this new Murph character. Not quite as retarded as a Helton Hanger-on, but we shan't hold it against him.

My favorite comment comes from a funny sassmouthed female on the Phish board I originally unleashed this upon (and stirred up a bit of controversy, I may add):

"I wouldn't like to see dying kids, regardless of any celebrity stature or not. Retards, well, we can all do with out them. But do they get make-a-wish wishes? Just for being retarded? That seems like overcompensation to me."

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger DannyNoonan said...

I used to coach for Special Olympics. SPending time with those kids is not as bad as you might think. It's actually pretty fun sometimes. Even besides the whole "Feeling good because you're helping people that are less fortunate than you" thing. Those kids are pretty funny sometimes. You just have to laugh at/with them.

That said, I always found something troubling about Special Olympics. You see, they hype the idea of being a winner just for competing. The kids have this pledge they say which is something like "Let me win, and if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt." But those kids don't buy that any more than any other kid. They really want to win. The problem comes with this sad fact of Special Olympics: Who wins is determined entirely by who is the least retarded. Period. Hard work? Determination? Guts? Experiance? Doesn't matter. And when one of the kids on my team would come crying to me because he just got spanked by some other kid in the 50 yard unassisted swim, it's really hard to say, "well Billy, he beat you because he's less retarded than you. In fact, he's barely retarded at all. Lemme go check on that." And then you get into drawing lines about how retarded you have to be to get into Special Olympics.

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I can't believe they showed Kobe grabbing that kid's ass last night after he said no...some people never learn.

Noonan, thanks for the insight, that made me morning.

 

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