I call this one the ScottyB and Coach Edition, since much of this shit is right off their imaginary desks:
Is there anything Michael McDonald can't do?
Ten paragraphs into this spectacularly well-done interview with one of my favorite musicians, Mr. Bruce Hornsby, you'll find this pretty surprising quotation: "Michael McDonald is a great person—I call him my discoverer and founder."
Heyzeus Chreesto, what is there in this godforsaken world that Mikey McDee can't do? He can sing like the dewdrops glistening on a freshly sodded lawn and he can stare a hole through your sternum with those big, soulful eyes. Now it turns out, the man discovered Bruce Fucking Hornsby. What a guy, what a guy.
In addition to that great anecdote (read the article), also check out this cool quote from Hornsby about one of his sons: "He’s on the AAU state champion Boo Williams select team, the only white kid in the gym. He’s going to the nationals in Orlando in August. He can really shoot it, and he’s a quick little white boy."
Boiling game shows down to the basics
I like the way this guy puts it, so I'll re-print unabridged: "Seriously, I think it is time to start packing my bags. I have tried it here in the US, with all the crappy MTV-era reality shows like America's Got Talent, My Super Sweet 16, and Survivor that have infected our television networks. All these shows ever do is make me angry that the contestants never face any sort of real world retribution for their wildly inappropriate and/or annoying behavior. Japan on the other hand seems to have stuck to the basics. Here is a tongue twister, say it correctly or get hit in the nuts. Like peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and Snakes On A Plane, you know exactly what you're getting and if you don't like it then that is your problem."
Fake band names meet some sort of science
Sometimes I get so caught up in this game that I think I might have to start taking music lessons. Then I realize I''m lazy and have no real talent for anything in this world other than lounging and being able to perfectly skip the commercials on my TiVoed programs. So, there that goes. (Ir)Regardless, here's a solid list of Ten Thousand Statistically Grammar-Average Fake Band Names with which youse can use to get famous, including Mandible Unthinkable. That sounds fun.
Slack Google Search Update: As wildly expected last week, the "Dakota Fanning + rape" searches have started rolling in...ain't that a fine thing with which to be associated. Similarly, the "Mike Tirico sexual harassment" searches are also registering big time in the wake of Harold Reynoldsgate.
Other recent searches that struck me as funny: cats that look like Huey Lewis, I love black people, Shawn Hannity punches Alan Combs, mother daughter fuck, pullin' tubes, Hal McRae 1997 White Sox Bush league, sexy voicemails, party of five salisbury hill, Stevie Knicks, sleeping pills and a bottle of absynthe, cats sudden death, Fuck Frenzy, and my favorite, Tommy Lee Jones happy face.
Slack Video of the Day: One year from yesterday marks the theatrical debut of The Simpsons Movie, of which Groening & Co. debuted sketches at the recent Comic Con. They're still ultra-rough, but it's nice to get an early glimpse of something every once in a while. Hopefully they figure out how to recapture the glory days of the show, otherwise this is going to be a nightmare: First clip & Second clip.
Slack Song of the Day: The Gnotorious Gnarls Biggie is exactly what it sounds like...someone mashed up some Biggie and some Barkley, with sexy results. Here are two tracks, including "that Crazy song": Can I Get With Ya Crazy Butt and Smiley Faces Hypnotize. Thanks to Phish & Chips for the heads up on this.