I'm short on time and long on actual work, so let's all take a little quiz together this morning. Which personality delivered this quote to a big impressionable audience of schoolchildren yesterday: "Right now, I would love to kill George Bush."
a. Billionaire investor George Soros
b. Angry comedian Lewis Black
c. Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
d. Rising rapper Chamillionaire
e. Nobel Peace Prize winner Betty Williams
If you guessed (e.), Nobel peace laureate Betty Williams, you'd be absolutely correct. Not that I condone violence on world leaders -- because, like making fun of fatties and cripples, I hate that -- but this chick just rose a few thousand spots on my All-Time Cool Beans List. I mean, first she wins the Nobel Peace Prize, then she threatens our president with an arse-kicking 30 years later. Brilliant.
So that begs the question...who would you like to kill right now (scot-free with no consequences of course)? Taylor Hicks for that stupid Ford mersh? Wolf Blitzer for boring us to tears? The fictional George Hearst for fucking with Al Swearengen? Tim McCarver for years of aural abuse? Isiah Thomas? Your neighbor's dog? Let's hear it.
Slack Link of the Day: ESPN fired Baseball Tonight analyst Harold Reynolds yesterday, refusing to explain its reasons for doing so. I guess he had sex with someone's momma, or perhaps with his own wife. With Gammons on the DL and now Reynolds in the can, this doesn't bode well for the future of the program, because Jeff Brantley and Steve Phillips are just about the two biggest idiots that have ever been on television. I don't know what happened, but I suspect BBTN will suffer from 2005 Philadelphia Eagles Syndrome. I'm picturing Harold doing sit-ups in his driveway right now.
Slack Videos of the Day: I just can't seem to get this song out of my head. The fucking cops are trying to catch this poor guy riding dirty, and he feels the need to complain about that in a public forum. It's basically like he's blogging. We really have a lot in common. So here's my buddy Chamillionaire explaining how he's being unfairly targeted whilst trying to ride dirty. Sweet video blog, dude.
Next, grant me one more musical indulgence and then I'm done forever. GRAB + Billie Jean + Cleveland Rocks + Cool Venue = Niceness. I love the guy laughing maniacally.
Slack Song of the Day: Lukas and I made an uncharacteristic, impromptu decision to hit up the Karl Denson Trio at the Blue Note last night (many thanks to John for the friendly text reminder). I'm a big Denson fan, and I've seen the Greyboy Allstars on both coasts over the last few months, but this particular show was the very definition of mediocrity. He played nothing worse than average, yet nothing came even remotely close to approaching great.
Two (blue) notes: Denson broke out the flute for an early number, an instrument that has been completely stripped of all legitimacy since Anchorman. My brain just kept saying "yazz flute, yazz flute, yazz flute, yazz flute." Also, I couldn't help but notice that while Denson is a supremely amazing flautist, he's still just playing the fucking flute. The flute!
So in honor of Mr. D's better days, here are Front Money and What So... from this year's JamCruise, and from the Greyboy catalogue, Jack Rabbit and Cramp Your Style from JazzFest 2004. I also like Denson's early work when he was known as Chamillionaire, namely Ridin' Dirty. Okay, maybe that's not Karl. But it's awesome. Or not.