Thursday, July 20, 2006

Who Wants to Rape Dakota Fanning?

I mean, I can see someone wanting to put a good face-fucking on her to shut up that little precocious yap, but this is just so horribly wrong:

"The screenplay for Hounddog...calls for Fanning's character to be raped in one explicit scene and to appear naked or clad only in 'underpants' in several other horrifying moments."

Seriously, how'd you like to be the actor that has to sexually assault the most well-known 12-year-old girl in the country? I think, whoever it is, he should turn the wheel into the skid, typecast himself as a sexual predator and only accept roles that allow him to act with kids in an "eccentric uncle" kind of way.

Good parenting, Fannings. As long as she takes home the Academy Award, you've done well here. Oscar is raping your daughter, too.

14 Comments:

At 2:52 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

I would cast the crazy uncle in "One Crazy Summer" who sits in the bathtub trying to win the radio call in show.

Either him or Dwight Yoakam.

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger DannyNoonan said...

I'll be interested to see what kind of google searches will get people to Slack Lalane after this post.

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

"Pics of Trey raping Dakota Fanning with a douchebottle"

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Claven said...

Her parents don't quite get it. You go gay, fat, ugly or just good ol' retarded to get an Oscar. And what's the rush to get her an Oscar now? Her parents oughta remember this is their child not an ATM.

Sorry about that. I get a little self-righteous at lunch.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

"Dakota Fanning sucking Screech's 10-inch cock is craisins" is a legit possiblity.

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger Betty said...

damnit I just saw that- I was just sending interoffice emails berating their decision for making her a spokesmodel at the organization.

 
At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Jodie Foster said...

It's especially stupid since everyone knows that you play the child prostitute FIRST and then the rape victim, if you really want the oscar.

 
At 4:56 PM, Blogger Boski93 said...

Is this supposed to be a spin off of "America's Got Talent" or something?

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger Chilly Jackwater said...

"Trey snorts coke off Dakota Fanning's Big Red ass"? or the PG version: "Trey buys Dakota Fanning a coke and offers her a piece of Big Red gum"?

 
At 6:35 PM, Anonymous JMoooooooooneeeeey said...

mike gordon giving dakota fanning a craisins mustache ride on his coked up segway

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Ding ding ding. J-Money, ladies and gentlemen, J-Money. That'll win ya the big boy prize.

 
At 7:03 PM, Blogger MDS said...

Ace, it's been a while since you've told us which were the most unusual google searches that led people to Slack. Could you make that a more regular feature?

 
At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would fuck her in a heartbeat. She has a hot little ass and I bet her cunt is warm and tight. My cum would look great all over her preteen face.

 
At 12:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i would so rape that little baby slut and get her pregnant and fuck her daughter too

 

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