Thursday, August 03, 2006

Caption Contest

Take your best shot at this one, Slackers...

If we both let you rape our girlfriends, can Straw 'n I blow lines off Givens' ass? Arvid and Dennis can't watch, yo."

Eh, not my best, and definitely in the obvious camp. What say you?

Speaking of the Mets, I'm not sure if anyone caught this (and I didn't see SportsCenter last night), but the Marlins used four pitchers in the span of 90 feet last night against the Metropolitans. If that sounds confusing, it probably isn't, but I'm tired and cranky this morning, so allow me to explain a little better.

With a man on first and no outs in the ninth inning, Joe Girardi sent pitcher Brian Moehler to the plate to pinch hit for pitcher Joe Borowski. Moehler, instead, got hit by a 3-0 Billy Wagner pitch. Girardi then replaced Moehler with a pinch runner, fellow pitcher Scott Olsen. After Hanley Ramirez inexplicably struck out on a third-strike bunt and Dan Uggla went down like a fat chick with low self-esteem, Girardi replaced pinch runner Scott Olsen with pitcher Logan Kensing.

Kensing, following an extensive stretching routine, was stranded. Borowski, Moehler, Olsen and Kensing, all to get a man to first and leave him there. I've never really seen anything like that, on two separate fronts: ne'er seen four pitchers used for a single at-bat and ne'er seen a pinch runner replaced by a pinch runner (sans injury).

This might be the most blatant misuse of pitching talent since Phillies starter Brett Myers beat...ah, forget it. Craisins.

Slack Link of the Day: If you've ever wondered what Jessica Simpson's nipples look like, you're in luck...

Slack Video of the Day: Not quite the RBI Baseball/1986 World Series from a few months back, but here's a little clip called Sports Bloopers you may or may not enjoy.

Slack Song of the Day: I'm pretty sure I could post a different song by The Band every day and not feel badly about it. The world deserves The Band. You need The Band, whether you know it or not. It's part of your soul. You should dig down deep and find the spot in your lungs that's craving the greatest non-American American band in music history, and once you locate that place, then and only then should you click on these tracks here: Chest Fever, We Can Talk, Ophelia, King Harvest (Has Surely Come), It Makes No Difference, Mystery Train.

26 Comments:

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

The worst and, perhaps, best thing about the Band is that they really made only about 20 great songs and then completely burnt out. It was really only from about 1966, when they holed up with Dylan doing what would become the Basement Tapes, until 1970, after the release of "The Band", that they were amazing. You could argue, I suppose, that "Stage Fright" was also a good album but it doesn't match the first two. They went on for years and years and, though the Last Waltz is clearly the #1 concert film of all time, they were never really a great live band. Thoughts?

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

But they kicked royal ass with Gary Busey. And that's gotta count for something.

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

"I bet you we'll all be dead by 2006?

No?

But I'll bet you we wish we were.

Well, no shit Doc, pass the blow, bitch"

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Nice, Al. Hey, speaking of Doc...

 
At 2:26 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

Nothern Light-Southern Cross happens to be up there with "Music From The Big Pink" and "The Band". On that album you've got Ophelia, It Makes No Difference, Acadian Driftwood - some pretty damn good songs.

They were definitely never really a great live band. But track down their concert from Roosevelt Stadium in '73 or Watkins Glen.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Donnie and I both own Watkins Glen...or at least the set that starts with Graham's intro > a kickass Back to Memphis.

"Let's hear it for Canada..."

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

You're right that Northern Lights has some good tunes on it but half of it sounds like elevator music. Plus, I've never much cared for It Makes No Difference so it surprises me when so many people say they like it. Just a matter of taste.

Live f/ Watkins Glen definitely rocks, especially the "There was an old lady from Houston" ditty.

 
At 3:26 PM, Blogger Chilly Jackwater said...

"Hey! Isn't that Bel Biv Devoe??"

 
At 3:27 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

I have to say It Makes No Difference is probably up there in my favorite songs by The Band. Definitely top ten. And one of the saddest song ever written to boot.

You also might want to pick up, if you don't have it already, Bob Dylan and the Band "Before The Flood" - their stuff on their it's damn good. Might be better then the Dylan stuff.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Chilly, you got me good with that one...nice work, well played.

Do people NOT have Before the Flood? They give that disc out on the first day of Heady School, don't they?

The When You Awake on BtF is one of my favorite tunes of all time. Danko is the man.

Oh, and It Makes No Difference is as solid as solid gets...Donnie, you're trash.

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger ethan said...

"you mind if we dance wiff yo dates?"

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger Boski93 said...

Why do I have a feeling that at the same time this picutre was being taken, there was one taken with Mitch "Blood" Green and the Bolivian Marching Powder loving Perez brothers. As they prepped for their Coke snorting title tilt against Doc, Staw and Tyson.

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Chilly Jackwater said...

I gotta say, I loved the Arvid & Dennis comment in your original caption. Was Dennis the fat one? The same actor played Pee Wee's hometown nemesis in "Big Adventure", right? And what was the name of the token "cool guy in leather jacket" on "Head Of The Class"? When will they put me out of my misery and release a "Head Of The Class" DVD compilation? That show wins First Prize in the "Shows That Should Have Been Unwatchable But Were Somehow Mesmerizing To Watch" contest. What was the Head Of The Class equivalent of "Rerun is forced by mobsters to bootleg a Doobies concert"?

PS - We'll now return you to cyber-fellatio on Robbie Robertson already in progress.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

Who knows what the kids are listening to these days with live-tronica and what not.

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

Chilly I'm going to go with the episode arc when the put on the musical "Hair" - it was HotC at it's finest. Though I feel like there was an episode when Robin Givens character battled an eating disorder.

Kid in the leather jacket - Eric.

Damn I watched way too much TV growing up.

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

No no no, Pee Wee's nemesis was the guy who played Chubbs in the Teen Wolf franchise. Dennis, who was the fat one, was basically nobody, except the kid in Better Off Dead who the French girl stays with. Arvid, in real life, went out on a J-Date with my sister-in-law's sister. Good times.

Head of the Class was the first American television show to go over and film in post-Communist Russia. And if you knew that, you could have won $250K in Who Wants To Be a Millionaire in the year 2000. I woulda been rich!

PS -- Nobody has said a word about Robbie all post and thread...the love is for everyone else.

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

The Russia episodes those were good too. Arvid and Dennis bring a suitcase full of Beatles tapes and blues jeans because apparantly that's what all the pinko commies want over - pure genius.

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger Some Dude said...

FYI - the guy that played Dennis also wrote the movie Good Burger - featured those lovable guys from Nickelodian's Keenan and Kal.

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

HotC was the anti-Saved by the Bell. Whereas the SBTB kids were involved in every single aspect of life at Bayside High, the HotC kids never seemed to have any connection to Fillmore High outside of their IHP class. I think maybe Arvid was on the chess team, but that was about it. They never even seemed to talk about any of their other classes. What subject was their IHP class supposed to be anyway? It seemed like a cross between history, English, and drama.

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger DannyNoonan said...

"HotC was the anti-Saved by the Bell. Whereas the SBTB kids were involved in every single aspect of life at Bayside High, the HotC kids never seemed to have any connection to Fillmore High outside of their IHP class."

Every lead role in every play Filmore High did was taken by an IHP kid. They did Little Shop of Horrors, Grease and Hair. Remember that video they did for their time capsule?

I just googled Head of the class and I found this site that has streaming video of all sorts of old shows including HotC:
http://television.aol.com/in2tv

 
At 10:54 PM, Blogger dhodge said...

My memory is a bit hazy. I remember those plays being more like class activities than school plays since they didn't seem to include anyone who wasn't in the IHP class. Putting on an entire production of Grease for a class project seems like a bit too much, even for talented and gifted students, so I guess my anti-SBTB remark is a bit off the mark.

 
At 2:02 AM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

The fact that this post spiraled rapidly into a Head Of the Class discussion thrills me to no end.

I still remember the night of the series finale. I was at Shakey's Pizza w/ my parents and threw a fit because we didn't eat our pizza buffet fast enough and I missed the first ten minutes of HotC.

Real mature, 11 year old Al.

 
At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arvid could waste Screech in chess.

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Chilly Jackwater said...

I just remembered another Head Of The Class episode...didn't they win a debate tournament against Bronx Science? And did they really call it "Bronx Science" or was it some thinly veiled reference to Bronx Science like "Bronx Tech"? (I love it when Hollywood pulls that. Like in Revenge Of The Nerds where Adams College big rival was "State.")

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Tyson: So I was like, bitch, whatchu mean you don't go down on the first date. And she was all like "I just don't". So I push her head down to try to convince her to do it, and she lifts her head up and slaps me. So I punch her square in the jaw.

Straw: Was she high? She selling some good shit?

Tyson: Yeah, so after I hits her, I tell her if she thinks she should go down again. She says no, so I hits her square in the jaw again, right here.

Good: That's fucked up man. Ain't no woman not goin down on me on request.

Straw: Was she high? You take any of dat shit home witchu?

 
At 9:07 PM, Anonymous Greg said...

I remember those Russia episodes, Strelka and Belka, man...

 

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