Lester Burnham Moments
This weekend I figured out what I consider the most awkward part of societal interaction: second meetings, following a notable time gap.
I can't think of anything more embarassing than a mutual friend re-introducing you to someone you've met maybe three or four months earlier, only they don't have the slightest recollection of the first encounter. There's nothing more injurious to the ego than that deafening moment following "Oh hey, Ace, have you met Buelah?" when I say, "Oh yes, absolutely" as they simultaneously declare "No, I don't think we have."
Sometimes I want to respond, "Really? You don't remember me? You don't recall the time we met in Phlox's apartment shortly after Arbor Day, when we stood by the window and discussed passionately how the downfall of Monday Night Football began shortly after they replaced MacGyver as the lead-in program? No? You have no memory of my smooth segue into how I thought you looked like a young Jessica Tandy and how I wanted to dress up in blackface, narrate a story and drive you to the Piggly Wiggly? Well, I sure as shit remember it, as I remember our witty repartee about the little girls that fall down wells and how they deserve to wither and rot. I fucking remember you."
Usually, though, I'll just make some self-deprecating yet still narcissistic remark a la the hero of this post's subject and pretend I've also never met them. "Oh, right, I was thinking of someone else." I musta been thinking of someone who gives a damn about me. Someone who knows I'm special. Like my mommy.
Slack Recommendation of the Day: I took in an absolutely incredible movie called Brothers of the Head this weekend. The story itself is the fucking bees' knees -- conjoined twins sold by their father to a producer in order to become the next great pop band, but instead the boys turn punk and rock out with their British cocks out, drinking and drugging and sexing and loving, basically leading a Sid Vicious-esque life. But like the story, the filmmaking is also genius, shot brilliantly in classic mock-documentary style without so much as a head fake towards reality. If this movie's playing anywhere near you, which it's likely not, go see it. Marvin K. Mooney will you please go now...
Slack Quote of the Day: "I can take you to the trough, but I can't put the pussy on top of you." --OJ Simpson, as can be heard on the new website, JUDGEOJ.com [Quotation taken from the NY Post article]
Slack Video of the Day: Check out this hilarious clip of a public access television host getting pranked by an army of well-trained pranksters. It starts off kinda slow, but by three minutes you'll literally be laughing out loud. "A caller called before with a very valid point..."
Slack Song of the Day: I went out to the dust bowl known as Randall's Island on Saturday to see the Dave Matthews Band. Well, no I didn't.
I guess DMB was the headliner of the six-band sun-soaked fiesta, but we left shortly before he serenaded the popped-collared and oversized-sunglassed masses with his own brand of unintelligibility and inferior musicianship.
Say what you will about the man, but Dave puts on a fantastic undercard. We got to see Ace favorites Tea Leaf Green and Bela Fleck & The Flecktones, as well as Yonder Mountain String Band, Slightly Stoopid (which was Slightly Terrible) and the first half of Government Mule. Bela Fleck's Stomping Grounds > Wipeout > old timey dixie music > Wipeout > Stomping Grounds stole the show, but TLG was the overall highlight of the day, as very well expected.
'Twas my ninth Tea Leaf show in 11 months, and I cannot be sweeter on a live touring band than I am on them. In honor, here's Sex in the 70s, Garden Part III, Incandescent Devil, and Can You Guess It?.