Nose For News
I've heard the best parents often try to light a fire under their kids for motivational purposes, be it in sports or academia, but this just may cross the line: "Mom Tries To Set Kids On Fire, Police Say."
While that horrific tale captured my short attention throughout the brief text of the article, I was more intrigued by the "Most Popular Stories" feature immediately following the piece:
Most Popular Stories
Mom Tries To Set Kids On Fire, Police Say
Alleged Road Rage Incident Critically Injures Man
Man Charged In Stabbings Over Soap
FBI: Sleeping Husband Killed With Hot Oil
Steelers Cut Wide Receiver
So, according to WPXI in Pittsburgh, four of the top five most popular stories in the area right now involve heinous crimes committed with lighter fluid and fire, an angry vehicle, a knife over soap, and hot household cooking oil. Oh yeah, and four-year veteran Eugene Baker got cut from the Steelers. That really sucks.
I'm feeling Pittsburgh these days. Seems like a lovely town.
Slack Google Searches of the Day: Tubbs Mulgrew gets all huffy 'n puffy when lowly bloggers don't credit him for inventing this gag, so this one's for Col. Hoooagies...these are the strangest searches that brought random Interwebbers to this here rag: deadwood al suck it mean like whore, fuckable Soledad O'Brien, john basedow nude pics, "it's enrico palazzo," suspended bitches, cowboy urns, androgynous video clips, and "you mean i'm not white?" and manny papi pee pee.
Slack Video of the Day: Yesterday I mentioned the Dave Matthews Band pre-show extravaganza at Randall's Island we caught on Saturday. Today, I offer a post-script.
Apparently Dave called out Bela Fleck and all the Flecktones for the extended #41 encore. Had we been there for that part, I'd be pretty psyched, as Bela and the Flecktones are some of the best, most professional musicians out there. The New York Post's critic, Dan Aquilante, saw things the other way, and in just one sentence in his review lost all musical credibility. He's done, seriously.
Aquilante naively reported, "But to give the Flecktones' bassist, reed player and synth percussionist major solo time at this crucial end-show period - especially when the DMB aces (bassist Stefan Lessard, drummer Carter Beauford and saxman Leroi Moore) are able and willing to take the music higher - is absurd."
Absurd? That statement's fucking absurd, Dan. Have you ever seen Victor Wooten play bass? How about his brother Future Man*, who might be the most unique motherfucker on the planet? Do you have any idea how foolish you sound when you make bold statements of idiocy from that half-baked intellect? I can't even begin to explain how upsetting it is that music critics like you exist. So, Dan, this one's for you -- Wooten layin' it down. And if you wanna see him in the DMB context, here's Wooten owning Dave's face.
Slack Song of the Day: "There's aspects of the Grateful Dead that I love. There's aspects of Boston I love." Whichever redhead made that ridiculous quotation was right: There are aspects of Boston we all love. Let's play a few: Foreplay/Long Time, Rock & Roll Band and the obvious, More Than a Feeling. Incidentally, is it possible Boston only released one album in its history, and it was called Greatest Hits?
(*Future Man is quite a character, aside from his unusual percussive style. He was indicted on four counts of tax evasion in 2001, and I think his defenses were brilliant: As Wiki explains, "he claimed, for example, that the IRS is actually a Puerto Rican debt collector. He also used esoteric and arcane tax protester literature and at one point made the bold claim that because he was from the future, the U.S. Government has no authority to tax him.")