Wednesday, August 16, 2006

They Have the MLB Package in Rehab?

The Roommates and I finally splurged for the MLB package from our local cable provider, only slightly pro-rated, of course, suckers that we are. And as much as I'm excited about the prospect of 10+ beisbol games a night at the tiniest tap of the clicker, I'm more pumped about listening to the games' local commentators and watching their local commercials for the remainder of the season.

Nothing beats watching a 6-6 Cubs/Astros game in the 14th Inning on FSN Houston...nothing, that is, except the bizarre mersh featuring Shawn Bradley and some little basketball chica warning everyone to keep a portable defibrillator on hand at all games and practices. The high-five they exchange at the end is worth the whole package right there. Joe Mauer doing milk mershes? Hearing the impending sense of doom in the voices of the Red Sawx announcers? These things are going to make my life immensely better.

Now I didn't see this particular clip last night as it aired, but an esteemed colleague of mine forwarded this to me a few minutes ago. Ace-fave Dennis Leary and the less-funny Lenny Clark stopped by the Sawx booth last night, and let's just say they had some choice words for Hollywood's favorite anti-Semite when they found out Kevin Youkilis is Jewish (and a better Jew than me I'm sure):

First they bring Weeds back, then we opt for the baseball package. Between that and the upcoming Premiership season, I'm gonna have to cancel a lot of plans over the next few months. Will the Ace Couchboy be back in business?

Slack Link of the Day: I hope everyone's ready...the 2006-07 Premiership season gets underway this weekend (with Liverpool heading to Sheffield United). Hooray for regular readers of this here rag, who now have yet another topic they couldn't give a shit about to wade through for the occasional nugget of humor. Phish and soccer have got to be the two biggest turnoffs out there, and yet you fuckers keep coming back. Kudos bar to you, I says.

(Ir)Regardless, you might as well follow the EPL this year because you'll hear about it from time to time. So click here for some Soccernet previews and bone up on the upcoming season. "You're gonna like the way you look." --George Zimmer

Slack Obit of the Day: You don't realize how good of a character actor Bruno Kirby was until you think about all the great parts he's played -- Young Clemenza in Godfather II, the Sinatra-lovin' limo driver in This Is Spinal Tap, awesome roles in Good Morning Vietnam, City Slickers, When Harry Met Sally and The Basketball Diaries. RIP Bruno Kirby.

Slack Video of the Day: Speaking of dead actors, here's a tribute video to Chris Farley I thought I'd post up here this morning.

Slack Song of the Day: A friend of mine, when he's not living free or dying, plays the drums in a NYC pop punkish trio called Negative Ken. They used to play shows around the city but somehow that all stopped. Now they're releasing an album, so I bet they'll take to the bars once again to promote it (or give them away), but until they do, feel free to check out their website and a few of their songs: Harder Than It Looks, My Friends are Better and Are We Still Friends.


At 10:31 AM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Bruno Kirby... Goodnight sweet prince.

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Lenny Clark is also physically weaker than his comedy routine. I see him at the gym in my building every few days, and the man couldn't bench press an Olsen twin from the "Full House" days. His best comedic performance is by far on the treadmill though.

At 10:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bruno Kirby was great and it's a shame he had to pass so early. My favorite role of his was in "The Freshman".

Those Negative Ken songs rawk!

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

C'mon, Bruno Kirby's best role was touching DiCaprio's tooter in Basketball Diaries. "Wuts a matta wit you, Swifty?"

That Clark guy was 2 Harpoons away from saying, "The Sawx betta make sure that kike don't steal all the money from the locka room during the game. Yids love loot. Wickid!"

At 12:05 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Lenny Clark is always a waste of space...he offers next to nothing at those CC roasts at which he occasionally appears. But as someone who doesn't lift weights because they're too heavy, I won't poke fun at the man's workout routine.

See, Don, I don't think Clark's the type of guy that would use kike...I think he'd use something like "Jewbag." Just a hunch.

At 2:31 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

I guess I should have prefaced it by saying that he dresses like he's training for the Mr. Olympia competition: Otomix gloves, leather weight belt (holding up his gut), sleeveless shirt, too-short shorts, wrist wraps, etc. Then he goes about throwing around 10 lb. plates like they're boulders. The vein that protrudes from his forefead on the decline press is a nice touch too.

At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Rashid Z. Muhammad said...

I subscribe to MLB radio and half of the fun is listening to the broadcasts from the other teams. I remember the Cardinal's radio guys being especially horrible. Horrible in a "golly jeez did you see that!?!?!?" kind of way.

Now Vin Scully, he can pull off that kind of schtick and still sound dignified. These guys? No so much.

At 5:35 PM, Blogger ethan said...

clark's character on 'rescue me' is funny. underrated show.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger coach said...

can't believe you waited until this late in the season to order the baseball package. i love it. had it for four or five seasons now and it is awesome to watch out of market games, especially the sox. the whole keep your friends close and your enemies closer thing.

At 10:04 PM, Blogger MDS said...

Spinal Tap was Kirby's greatest role. The key to the role was making it seem like he wasn't in on the joke, and he nailed it. RIP.

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