Monday, August 14, 2006

Which Game Is That, D-Bot?

So why does the guy who works in the coffee shoppe downstairs think he can ask me "You watching the game?" every time we cross paths?

There are no sports on television at 7 pm on an August Sunday night, yet sure enough, he nailed me with the query like it was October or June. "Which game?" I replied. "Oh, the Yankees?" he retorted. "Nah, I just woke up from a nap," I said. "And all of my teevees are broken."

This dude clearly doesn't like or know anything about sports, and he doesn't even know what game is on when he asks, but he feels compelled to throw out the more manly and personalized equivalent of asking me "How's it goin'?" every time he sees me. I think he wants me to say, "I don't watch sports anymore since I met you...wanna come upstairs and let me fellate your enormous cock all night while we watch Grey's Anatomy?" I don't want to say it.

I mean, I'm friends with the guys that own the sandwich shoppe and I'm friends with the guys in the bodega next door. But this guy...this guy and I shared one pause-riddled awkward conversation about how he wants to be the next great maker of risque and questionable Larry Clark films and now he thinks he can throw me a "You watching the game?" on a summertime Sunday night at 7 pm when nothing's even on the tube. That's laughable, mang.

Slack Quotation of the Day: The Reds downed the Blues yesterday, as my Liverpool club defeated Donnie Fiedler's Chelsea 2-1 in the FA Community Shield on a late goal by Peter Crouch.

Offseason transfer Craig Bellamy supplied the brilliant cross that an unmarked Crouch headed into the net. Bellamy's a real jerk, but he's going to be the most valuable acquisition in the Premiership this year, you can mark those palabras. And when skipper Stevie Gerrard accepts the championship trophy at year's end, he'll have Bellamy (among others) to thank for helping him win the league title. Chelsea better get used to the idea of losing now.

But here's the quote of the year maybe, from the game recap on Soccernet: "[Chelsea manager Jose] Mourinho's blue machine was stopped by the England striker who was briefly famous for his robotic dancing." You have to love a straight-up sports article that has the phrase "briefly famous for robotic dancing" in it to describe the game-winning goal scorer.

Slack Anniversary of the Day: Two years ago today (and the whole weekend), many of us made our way up to Vermont to say goodbye to The Phish. If anyone ever uses the word "goatfuck" and you want to know what it means, read this recap.

Slack Video of the Day: From those fun-lovin' folks in Japan comes the World Record Trampoline Slam Dunk. Awesome shit.

Slack Song of the Day: Here's a new song by Robert Randolph & The Family Band from his website. Kinda sounds like most every other old song of RR's, but then again, I go see Randolph for the fun factor, not the trailblazing musical genius factor. Enjoy the Thrill Of It.


At 11:49 AM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Peter Crouch should be taller.

At 11:59 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

I see tough times ahead for my blue teams. Dissention in the ranks will definitely condemn the giants to a 6-10 record with at least one 6 game losing streak (mark it down). There's too many egos on that team: Shock, Plax, Tiki, Strahan, Fragile Eli (Frageeli?). And now Chelsea seem to be ruining the good times with in-fighting. Gallas is one of my favorites but he's acting like a prick. Sheva is too immobile for the English game. Drogba might eat children during the game. And Lampard's balls were cut off sometime during that Paraguay game and haven't been seen since.

Order of finish:

Chel$ea -- come on, they've got too much.

At 1:03 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Hey, Giants fans can't complain (and I know you're just doing a little "under-promise/over-deilver" anyway) when I'm a sorry Jets fan with a QB that can't throw longer than five yards. I'm gonna put up a more official Jets preview, but look for Kellen Clemens to start by Week 8. And then the fun starts -- I think this kid's gonna be good.

As for the Blues, they didn't finish that far ahead of Liverpool or ManU last year (what, three wins?), and I don't think they got that much better. Talent-wise, sure, but team-wise, not so much. Donnie, we've seen this game before, it's called Giambi Unit Syndrome. You can't just keep adding guys and expect the same level of greatness just because you're stockpiling talent.

Pool, on the other hand, looks like it's ready to elevate to the top of the Premiership, with a solid crew of strikers working together and an excellent midfield filled with guys that are no stranger to one another. Both dipped into the transfer market in a big way, but only Chelsea now looks like a World Cup team that needs time to gel.

Bet on the Reds, kids.


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