Rabbit Punch Caption Contest
Many people are scared of China. The Red Star is rising, and within the next two decades those emulating bastards will be a true global superpower, on equal footing with the United States. Interestingly, though, this time the world's also-rans will likely side with the fun- lovin' Commies over the Freedomers in the first great popularity contest of the new millenium.
Why the worry? There could be a war over the liberty of Chinese Taipei (or what the roundeyes call "Taiwan") and the rights to Chien-Ming Wang. We may see protective tariffs erected in the fight against cheap Chinese goods amid a backlash over the dismantling of the American manufacturing base. China's military build-up and refusal to properly deal with North Korea might send false signals of a rice-driven alliance, causing Washington to draw up battle plans.
But we've got nothing to be afraid of, folks. As long as the Chinese are hosting events like the fourth annual Animal Olympics, we're gonna be friends 'til the day we die. Shanghai is the place to be right now, the only spot on the globe that features a man dressed as a clown full-on boxing a marsupial. We should be scared of this? No, we should embrace our entrepreneurial friends and encourage them to beat up dogs too, because dogs suck.
"Since the Irwin estate won't let me box Steve's dead corpse, I guess I'll beat up on this frickin' kangaroo instead."
So what say you, Slackers? Got anything funny this morning? I surely don't, but I figured I'd turn to you for excitement on this Friday.
Slack Link of the Day: New! Wigs for babies! Holy hell, check this article out, the pictures alone will make you want a kid.
Slack Video of the Day: Male Restroom Etiquette, courtesy of The Sims and whoever put this brilliant thing together.
Slack Song of the Day: Six years ago this weekend, Donnie and I flew to Las Vegas for the first time ever, with no hotel room and no real plan. The popular rock band Phish was playing two shows at the Thomas & Mack, and like any two upper-middle class kids from the 'burbs, we just had to be there.
On our way into the 9/29 show, we noticed Kid Rock standing outside, just chillin' at the front of the line to get in. A few hours later, he joined the band for the last half hour of the show, and no matter what Phish Revisionists want to say now, he tore the roof off that place. You want to talk about instant energy? He came out and electrified the crowd with a stellar Walk This Way, a comedic Rapper's Delight and a kickass You Shook Me All Night Long, before coming back out with the boys for a We're An American Band encore.
The weekend itself was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, including but not limited to my first meeting with two of my musical idols. And while the 9/30 show stands out as the better of the two, I'll never forget that first night's show, being incredibly hopped up on all kind of club drugs and speed and probably horse tranquilizer wondering what the fuck was going on inside that packed house...is that fucking Kid Rock? Sure was. Only in Vegas.