Thursday, October 05, 2006

Doctor Ruth Meets Islamic Jerkin'

It's Ramadan, folks, that time of year when Hakeem Olajuwon's iron deficiency acts up and causes problems in the world.

But should you have any tough questions related to the rights and wrongs of this especially holy month, here's an actual website Q&A with Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini to answer all of your questionable questions:

Q: "If somebody masturbates during the month of Ramadan but without any discharge, is his fasting invalidated?"

A: "If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a harām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a haram intentional breaking fasting."

So there you have it (kind of). It doesn't specifically say so in this online advice column with the Supreme Leader, but I believe it is not permitted to catch the inevitable release in your turban. Just sayin'.

Slack Link of the Day: From the great lede files, check this one out -- "For a 67-year-old homeowner and his wife, wrongly subjected to a shattering pornography search, saying, 'Oops, wrong number' is not enough." My parents do not accept your apology.

Slack Video of the Day: You'd think watching this video of the Carter Brothers fighting might make you a bit queer, and it probably will, but it's also pretty funny to watch such lickbaggery.

Slack Song of the Day: Medeski, Martin & Wood + Some Horns + Bemsha Swing > Lively Up Yourself = Lord, Have Mercy.

5 Comments:

At 12:26 PM, Blogger SuperDee said...

unintentional masturbation, now that's skill...

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger Matty Mac said...

Self inflicted blue-balls is considered fasting? Who knew?

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I've seen it!

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Garrett Reid said...

Unintentional masturbation. Like when you "accidently" rub it against the women in front of you in line at the 7-11. It happens.

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Poor A-Rod. So lonely.

 

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