A Short List of Nixed Costumes
We're throwing our annual Halloween party on the pagan holiday itself, mainly to take full advantage of our apartment's proximity to the bonafide freak-show parade that highlights the evening's municipal festivities. It fortuitously also gives my roommates and I another day to frantically scramble for a costume for our puzzled troika.
It's hard to dress up in threes. It severely limits individual creativity and requires all of us to sign off on the same idea. Last year's decision to regulate the party as referees worked incredibly well on every level, but that was more a result of exceptional improvisational tomfoolery on our part. If my past costumes of freemoneyman Matthew Lesko and fitness celebrity John Basedow weren't indicative enough, I like to get a little more out there than the zebras.
And we've got nuthin' right now. Bupkus. Zilch. Right now we're not even going to our own party. I know this constitutes yet another fuckin' post about Halloween costumes, but here is a brief list of ideas we've thumbed down thus far:
1. The Clitoris: This means that we really wouldn't show up to our own party, but we'd hire one of our friends to say "Oh, those guys're here somewhere" every time a guest inquires as to our whereabouts. Finally we'd emerge as shy, bulbous pink objects around midnight and respond to every query, "What, you having trouble finding us? We were here the whole time, newb. Get a clue." Obviously, there are more flaws here than anything else.
2. The Too Lates: Anyone that's spent some time around here knows we live by the "Too Soon?" School of Comedy. But all too often we forget about the rugged comedic potential of the "Too late?" gag.
Case in point, how about if we went as Jeff Gillooly, Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan and acted like the costumes were hilariously current? What if we dressed as a priest and two avid churchgoers with oversized placards and cups of water, parading around the party as pro-life Terri Schiavo protestors? Elian Gonzalez, Janet Reno and an Army sniper in full regalia? Sid Bream, Francisco Cabrera and Jane Fonda? Alex P. Keaton, Mallory and Skippy? Jason Bateman and the two yutz brohters from Hogan's Family? There's gotta be something funny here, we just haven't found it yet.
3. Snakes on Cory Lidle's Plane: Who doesn't love to combine two disparate themes? This one's perfect, it's got the timeliness and repulsiveness of taking advantage of Lidle's accident and the biggest pop culture reference of the year. I think we need to re-visit this one.
So obviously we're still scrambling...anyone see some classic costumes this weekend we can steal and adapt? Any good ones otherwise?
Slack Link of the Day: On the heels of Natron's homemade Osamalantern pumpkin carving (later re-named Osama bin Lantern by an apt commenter), have a look at some more pumpkin creations.
Slack Band Name of the Day: Snip Snip & The Angry Moyels.
Slack Video of the Day: Ever wanna hear a college football announcer randomly input a "That's kinda gay" into his pass-catching analysis during a live game? Well, now you can scratch that off your list. Thanks, Brian Kinchen.
Slack Viewer-Submitted Video of the Day: Derek L. sent this clip over here late last week, David Bowie's hysterical cameo on the short-lived Ricky Gervais show, Extras. Pathetic little fat man...
Slack Song of the Day: I forced a friend to watch Stop Making Sense this weekend, so I've got Talking Heads on the brain. Off More Songs About Buildings and Food, here's The Girls Want To Be With The Girls, Found a Job, and With Our Love.