Wednesday, October 04, 2006

So, Uh, What'd You Do Tonight?

Gary Sheffield's gospel singer wife took some time away from being urinated on by R Kelly in a series of underage threesomes to sing the national anthem at Yankee Stadium tonight.

Then the place erupted when an old Yank'um named Paul O'Something threw out the first pitch. Everyone was excited for playoff beisbol: ALDS, Game 2. The Stadium was buzzing, electricity brimming. A few minutes after scheduled game time, Hoobs the Michigander sent me a text message that included the shocking question "Delayed, yes?"

Delayed?! What delay? Wait a minute...um, there's nobody in the dugout or on the field right now. I called Hoobs. Fox told its audience to rent a movie and check back in an hour, maybe more. I surveyed the crowd: "Hey, so anyone else hear the game is delayed an hour?" Silence met my query. Oh shit, folks, there's the grounds crew.

The Great Inconvenience of 2006...what a night. I mean, it doesn't get much better than hanging out in a rain-soaked Yankee Stadium, being teased with the removal of the tarp, filing out with 55,000 other perturbed people at the same time, fighting through masses to ride home on the over-crowded subway, realizing there is NO way you can possibly attend the makeup game, then getting caught in a fucking douchestorm from the subway station to the apartment.

Ace is wet, Ace is unhappy...Hey, at least I saw Pauly O throw a screaming fastball to the plate tonight, the only pitch of the evening.

A Game 2 Diary in Pictures: The scoreboard at 7:30 shows no beisbol; the Hardcore Jews are ready for action (I believe "hardcore" is the actual religious branch); the rain comes down lightly, but it falls nonetheless; grounds crew workers cocktease the crowd and de-tarp the field; only moments later, they come back out to put the tarp back on; a couple of Matsuis don't like what they see; the scoreboard at 10:01 looks like suspiciously like the scoreboard at 7:30; finally, an announcement from the Yankees about tomorrow's game. Garbage.

9 Comments:

At 9:23 AM, Blogger hoobs said...

Spongebob, that crazed SOB, is loving your water-logged state.

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

Can't wait to read about some dissapointed chap googeling "Hardcore Jews" and finding his way here.

Also, seeing that picture of your apartment for some reason made me remember another picture of your place, and I have to ask: how is your extensive collection of Nic Cage movies coming along?

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I'm not sure if I own a single Nic Cage movie...lemme think here. Nope, not me, not even The Rock, which was great. Must be my roommates' collections.

Also, as much as I'd love to admit it, that SpongeBob thing is not mine. I wish it were, I wish it were, but sadly, 'tis not.

 
At 11:13 AM, Anonymous dorsey said...

Spongebob protects Ace from the evildoers.

 
At 1:24 PM, Anonymous brett said...

Did you rage Shakedown with the Matsui on the left?

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Of course I did...we picked up some gooballs and got down. MRFMTD.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Chris said...

My friend, a diehard Yanks fan, said, "I'm glad they lost today. They deserve it after treating their fans like that."

 
At 5:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your seats sucked!

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Shaun said...

I am the newest and biggest Tigers fan around.. In the absence of the Red Sox I support anyone who shows the Spankees for what they are.. Overpaid choke artists...

 

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