Friday, November 10, 2006

Man-on-Dog Caption Contest

Senator Ricky Santorum is on his way out...and the sadness of his defeat shall haunt my dreams forever. My favorite part of his concession speech was when he began with "First and foremost, I want to thank God," and the entire crowd cheered like Jesus R. Christ himself had emerged from the back with Satan in a sleeperhold.

"I lost because you touch yourself at night."

I mean, there's a lot to attack here: Ricky's gentle touching of the plaid girl's shoulder, the Harry Potter son's stoic look that screams of Columbine, the daughter in the back who's wholesome by day and giving half of Pennsylvania rusty trombones by night...go to town, Slackers. Bring it on home for the Santorum family.

Slack Link of the Day: This is one of the crazier cases of mistaken identity involving redheaded teenagers I've ever seen. Warning, I'm stealing this line from someone else: "Damn, they do look a lot alike. Maybe some of the black men in prison really are innocent."

Slack Blog of the Day: Our friend Reverend Dave is on the road and keeping a blog, and he sent this entry to my attention yesterday:

"I was in Athens GA for two nights for the Drive By Truckers last weekend and randomly learned about an evengelical professional wrestling league called Ultimate Christian Wrestling. I couldnt pass up something that ridiculous. So I went and not only was it the most awesomely bad thing I have ever seen, but for the big finale, they did one of those old school 'Sting runs in and beat up all the bad guys' style endings, except with Jesus Christ himself in the role of Sting."

Slack Video of the Day: I'm not one for ganging up on a bona fide loser, but check out this clip of fans exiting the K-Fed show in Chicago the other night. I didn't think this guy was my type of comedy, but he's looking more and more like a great source of hilarity.

Slack Song of the Day: We haven't done a Friday StreamStash twofer mix-up in a long time, so let's -- The Boy in the Bubble and Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes (Paul Simon), Reuben James and Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) (Kenny Rogers), Caldonia Mission and It Makes No Difference (Rick Danko), Never Gonna Give You Up and Together Forever (Rick Astley).

11 Comments:

At 9:55 AM, Blogger ScuffyMcgee said...

Hey Ace,

Is it possible that Amanda Sylvester had just left the Kwik Shop in her 1964 Metallic Mint Green Buick Skylark with Michelin Model XGV size 75R-14 Tires?

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

I shot the clerk?

 
At 10:01 AM, Anonymous Mona Lisa Vito said...

No, there is no way that these tire marks were made by a '64 Buick Skylark convertible. These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Russell Kahn said...

Odd thing is, Slack, that the hand on the daughter's shoulder isn't from her daddy--you can see his left arm coming down in front of the podium. I actually can't figure out where that arm is coming from.

So I'll just say it's the Hand of God coming down to console the young virgin and leave it at that.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Rusty, you're right! Santorum's wife has Manhands.

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

That whiney little bitch looks like she has about 4 hands' worth of fingers. Are we sure she's not an Alfonseca?

 
At 1:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's something kind of creepy how the little girl is clutching a doll dressed in the same dress she is wearing. Why it's creepy I don't exactly know ....

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger rainmansuite said...

http://www.philebrity.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/santorumconcedeku1.jpg

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger rainmansuite said...

sry ... posting link again

this pic is hilarious

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Ha, that's great stuff...Photoshop makes me pee my pants.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger jakezebra said...

"honey, shitting on the stage isn't going solve anything."

On a more serious note, I have heard that the daughter speaks with others via the doll, kind of like Danny in The Shining except he was only using his finger and his finger wasn't dressed in the same outfit.

 

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