Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Stop E-Mailing Me To Vote, Jerks

I don't mean to sound too much like the teacher at the beginning of Dazed and Confused, but today when you’re being inundated with all this Election Day pundit prophecy and exit polls brouhaha, don’t forget that nobody knows shit ’til the polling stations finish counting.

Not unlike the 2004 Yankees, leave it to the Lefties to peak entirely too soon. Unbridled optimism from the Democrats suddenly became dangerously cautious optimism (with a dash of Hide the Pelosi), and the Republicans over the past two weeks have morphed from sourpuss defeatists into a smug bunch of wannabe underdogs. The Republicans are basically the 2004 Red Sox.

So I'd recommend waiting 'til it's all over this time before the Democrats start celebrating and dancing the spite hora with Joe Lieberman's family. And while we hang out, let's rewind Slack LaLane to November 2004, the last time the Democrats' optimism turned to a big pile of dogshit after midnight. Here are five old posts, back in the days when we shunned short paragraphs and kinda sucked at this:

--Needing Newton (with 40 well-written comments)
--Inside the Campaigns
--Reflections on Elections
--Coming To

Well, good luck...may we see wholesale change, regardless of party.

Slack Addendum of the Day: I neglected to mention in yesterday's Running the NYC Marathon With a Big Bag of Pot story that my friend finished the race in something like three hours and 20 minutes. Not bad for a guy carrying an extra ounce on him for 18 miles...

Slack Link of the Day: There's a new condom hitting the market that most dudes will be plenty psyched about -- here's a safe-for-work video demonstrating how easy it is. No thanks, I prefer to struggle for a minute and lose whatever tiny erection I had working before.

Slack Video of the Day: From an episode of the wickedly underrated Robot Chicken, here's Mario Brothers Vice City, or some other mash-up of the Mario name with Grand Theft Auto.

Slack Song of the Day: Considerign the day, it'd be hard not to post Tea Leaf Green's Vote on Tuesday from the Vic show I caught in Chicago last month. Check out the cool Chamleon jam in the middle of that one...it's Herrrbie Hancock. As a bonus, here's the highlight of that show, The Invasion, and a cool Las Vegas.


At 12:18 PM, Blogger PaulNoonan said...

Voting is for losers.

At 12:26 PM, Blogger ahren said...

and slaves...

At 12:58 PM, Blogger Alex Fritz said...

I've said it before, and I'll say it agiain... but we elected the wrong Carter.

At 3:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Going back to your "Inside the campaign" post some interesting prognostication on your part ace:

"On the coaching ballot, it's no on Spurrier, yes on Wave 'Em In Willie, yes on Charlie Manuel. I say, bad move, bad move, good move. Willie's a good guy and I'll always love him for being a part of six World Series pinstriped champions, but this guy is not the manager the Mets are looking for. He's not turning around you ballclub so soon, fellas. I mean, I guess it's good for the Yanks, maybe now we can bring in Northwestern alum Joe Girardi, who will be a major league manager within five years (tops). "

Girardi actually turned to be a manager and fired within two years of your post and I dare say willie has turned out just fine for my mets.

At 3:56 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Voting was cool today because Hevesi gave me a state-funded lift to the polls. (I continue slaying people with topical-political humor!)

At 4:05 PM, Blogger Ace Cowboy said...

Suozzi jerked me off in the booth...and don't even get me started on Pirro's anus.

And, thanks for the prognostication love, Anon. Didn't even notice that this morning...

At 4:12 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

Suozzi made me blow my Weiner all over your Faso.


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