Wednesday, November 15, 2006

You Like-a Da Juice?

By now I'm sure you've heard the news: O.J. Simpson (not a Jew) will sit down with publisher and crazywoman Judith Regan for a two-part interview called "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened" that'll air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29.

Someone's either feeling a little guilty about past crimes and acting out in a desperation to cathartically clear it from his brain or he's trying like the dickens to sell his new book and knows this'll do the trick. The cynic in me says it's the latter, but the kid in me likes the frosted side. Oh, sorry, I just slipped into a Frosted Mini-Wheats mersh without even knowing it.

There's not much to say about this interview that everyone's not already thinking themselves, but I believe Fox is onto something here and should leverage a franchise out of it:

Tom Cruise could do an "If I Blew Travolta, Here's How It Happened" show, Scott Peterson could do a "If I Made My Nagging Wife An Anchor, Here's How It Happened" interview, Roger Clemens could join McCarver for a "If I Threw That Bat At Piazza's Junk, Here's How It Happened," and I could finally sit down for my long overdue "If I Killed That Colored Homeless Dude, Here's How I Enjoyed It" segment.

Fox, it could work, gimme an EP credit and we're golden grahams. Who else would you like to see come clean like this? Let us know...

Slack Link of the Day: From the "Good God, Man, That's WAY Understating It" files, a new government study found that "About 1 percent of Web sites indexed by Google and Microsoft are sexually explicit." Wait, they're saying the Internets are only 1 percent porn? That's like saying only 1 percent of Red Sawx fans don't have a high school diploma. It's just way too low.

Slack Video of the Day: I updated yesterday's SNL post to include the actual Carpool Sketch video from this Saturday's show, but I'm guessing it'll be taken down shortly. So get on over there and watch it before NBC Universal gets all protective of their shiite.

Slack Song of the Day: Maybe this is a little too analrapist Tobias Funke of me, but I'm feeling like a Queen today...Oh, Tobias, you blowhard! Let's go with Don't Stop Me Now, Fat Bottomed Girls, and a big summer of 1992 favorite, Radio Ga Ga.

9 Comments:

At 1:01 PM, Blogger Claven said...

Zoiks. I actually remember watching Queen play Radio Ga-Ga live on MTV at the London Live Aid show. Getting old in a hurry.

"If I was a pimp President and I bagged only fugly chicks, this is how it happened."

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger poophopanonymous22 said...

"if i was kobe's 12 inch dong, this is how i would have raped that chick"

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger Don Fiedler said...

"If I told some nutjob to kill them amish broads, here's what I told him."

 
At 4:55 PM, Blogger NewmRadio said...

"If I was an intern at SNL, this is how I already deleted the carpool sketch that Ace posted"

 
At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If I really created the world in six days a few thousand years ago, here's how I did it?" Genesis 1:1-31.

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger Passion of the Weiss said...

the juice is good...no?

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger jakezebra said...

"If I'd wanted to continue pitching in the Bronx, here's the name of an experienced flight instructor I would have hired..."

 
At 9:49 AM, Anonymous Rashid Z. Muhammad said...

"If Micheal Jackson's white babies weren't fathered by him, these are the sperm specimens that would have knocked me up."

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger hoobs said...

If I defenestrated some Czech guy, here's how the 30 Years War happened.

 

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